Brownie

عندما تدير الساحرة المستديرة وجهها

2012-02-01T14:11:00.000-08:00

ذكرياتي مع كرة القدم دائما مفرحة ... اتذكر حواراتي مع ابي منذ نعومة اظافري ، فلاني ابنته البكر ، كان يشاهد مباريات الكرة و انا الهو معه . عن طريق كرة القدم تعلمت جغرافيا العالم ، تعلمت احساس الانتماء لفريق معين و مؤازرته ، حتي في اسوأ حالته.

اتذكر عراك ابي مع عمي الاكبر لتشجيعهم لاندية مختلفة . اتذكر لحظات بعينها فرحت بسبب هدف و لحظات اخري احزنتي هزيمة فريقي . رغم الحزن و رغم السعادة ، كانت اثارة كرة القدم تبهجني و تخفف من ضغوط يومي .

اليوم غير كل يوم ، لم تكن النتيجة هي الفيصل او الاداء هو العامل المهم . و لكن ما تصدر عناوين المواقع و الاخبار خبر عن مأساة . ان يموت عشرات الافراد ، ما يربو عن سبعين شخصا ، لا لشئ الا لانهم ذهبوا لمؤزارة فريقهم . ان يذبحوا بدم بارد في حضرة الشرطة التي لم ترفع انملة لايقاف هذه المذبحة ، فتلك قمة المأساة .

القصة التي تروي عن اسباب الحدث متداعية ، حتي و رفعت لافتة تحمل سبابا ، فالاستادات المصرية معتادة علي تبادل السباب و لم تحدث فاجعة بهذا الحجم في اي من المرات رغم شدة الهتافات و قسوتها.

ما حدث اليوم خارج عن الحسابات ، المصري كان متقدم و الاهلي مطرود منه لاعب و ليس من مصلحة جمهور المصري تعكير صفو المباراة .

ما حدث اليوم ان استطعت ان استنتج منه حقيقة ، فالحقيقة الاولي ان ما حدث ما هو الي تصفية جسدية بكل ما تحمل الجملة من معاني لفصيل ثوري و هو االاولتراس الاهلاوي ، الذي سنظل شاكرين لمواقفه البطولية اثناء الثورة المصرية و في اعقابها . و الحقيقة الثانية ان الشرطة المصرية الممثلة للسلطة التنفيذية في الشارع الي جانب ثأرها لنفسها من صناع الثورة ، فهي ترسل رسالة شديدة اللجهة انها لن تقوم بدورها الا برؤيتها و بشروطها ، و التي لن تتغير عن ما دأبت عليه قبل الثورة .

ان كنت قد بدأت التدوينة بان كرة القدم هي جالبة السعادة ، اليوم ايقنت انها مستديرة و وجهها السيئ قاسي و دامي

on love life: revisiting my perceptions.

2012-01-29T14:44:00.000-08:00

Two years ago I wrote"expiring date "post. I was overweight and I did not witness a stable and long term relation. By that time I had imagination that Mr Right is there somewhere and he will make life more beautiful.

I decided to revisit this post, now I am also overweight , even fatter . and I am in the first stable and long relationship in my life, noting that I will be thirty years old in June, I am so lucky, right ??. I have to admit that he made me feel happier, but does he brings happiness only? No he does not , he can be the reason for the ugliest pain I ever felt. I thought that he is the secret ingredient for my eternal joy but I discovered that no he is not, he is as any other part of my support system, he can be reason of making dreams come true and the reason of breaking my heart.

I am wondering why in heaven I thought that my partner will be a super person that brings happiness and always send me roses along with positive vibes and support. why I was that naive and I thought that if he is the one, so everything will be perfect . why did I think that my life will be completely different . yes it is nicer, but also I went through many dilemmas and the relationship made me question my perceptions on many things , like my independence , personal freedom and the meaning of commitment . some things that I thought I will never bargain, I found myself bargaining it and accepting compromises .

Why I was that dreamy?, I was happy alone, I am not the kind of the girl that has an empty life, I have many things to do, I have huge network of friends and a tribe , this is how I call my huge family . but I still hate that I was alone.

Now I am passing through another dilemma , I am asking myself, what if a day come and he left, or I left. I will manage to live alone again?? Will the pain of loneliness be harder?? Will it be easy to forget and start a new life?? I do not know I just wonder .

بيان اتحاد شباب النوبة الديموقراطي بشأن المستجدات في القضية النوبية

2012-01-19T03:20:00.000-08:00

عقد اتحاد شباب النوبة الديموقراطي مؤتمرا صحفيا في مركز هشام مبارك بالامس بالتعاون مع حزب التحالف الشعبي الاشتراكي و الحزب المصري الديموقراطي الاجتماعي .

و هذا نص البيان

بسم ثورة مصر التى لم تكتمل ...

السادة الحضور بالنيابة عن اتحاد شباب النوبة الديمقراطى اتوجه لكم بالتحية لتشريفكم وحضوركم ..

.. تابعنا مؤخرا وكلنا أسى الأحداث االأخيرة بقرية أبو سمبل التهجير بمركز نصر النوبة .. أحداث غرق القرية وانهيارجسر ترعة وادى النقرة ( المعروفة بترعة زكريا عزمى ) .. ونحن فى مؤتمرنا هذا جئنا لنكشف حقيقة الأحداث والتى دائما تكون الرواية الرسمية لها كاذبة وعارية تماما عن الصحة .

القصة تبدأ منذ بدايات الثورة والانفلات الأمنى وانسحاب الشرطة المتعمد وتقاعصها عن آداء مهامها بعد تظاهرات 28 من يناير .. الا ولأن أسوان عموما ومركز نصر النوبة خاصة عانى الأمرين من هذا الفشل الأمنى الذريع للحكومات المتعاقبة وكذلك فشل المجلس العسكرى فى ادارة شئون البلاد فحتى الآن تعانى القرى النوبية ما بين انقطاع تام للاتصالات نتيجة لسرقة كابلات التليفونات أو سرقة أعمدة الكهرباء وآخرها سرقة نحاس مولدات رفع المياة من ترعة وادى النقرة الذى أدى لغرق قرية أبو سمبل .. قرى بكاملها محرومة من الاتصالات وعلى سبيل المثال قرية أدندان منذ 6 شهور وليس لديهم أى اتصالات أرضية نظرا لتكرار عملية السرقة المنظمة .. اخفاقات وفشل مستمر .. فض اعتصامات بالقوة والتستر على أمين شرطة قتل مراكبى بسلاحة الميرى .. استشهاد أحد أبناء قرية توشكى بالرصاص الحى وكان آخرها مقتل شاب من قرية السنقارى والمالكى على يد مسجل خطر حاول التعدى على ملكيتة الزراعية .. تعانى منطقة نصر النوبة من عصابات منظمة ومسلحة ومجهزة تماما لجميع عمليات السطو والسرقة تقوم بسرقة كابلات الكهرباء والأعمدة والاتصالات وتستولى على الأراض والملكيات الزراعية .. وبالطبع تقوم بقتل كل من تسول له نفسة اعتراض طريقهم .. وسط غياب مخزى وفاضح من الشرطة المدنية والعسكرية وتقاعس المحافظ والحاكم العسكرى عن آداء مهامهم ..هذا المحافظ الذى لا نعرف السر الغريب وراء الابقاء علية حتى الآن هذا المحافظ الذى تسبب فى أزمات جمة للوطن وعرض أمنه للخطر وكان أكثرها دموية أحداث الأحد الدامى المعروفة بأحداث ماسبيرو .

نعود الى غرق قرية أبو سمبل ..هذة العصابات قامت بسرقة أجزاء من مولدات رفع المياة بالترعة ( الترعة التى تسقى مزارع خاصة بالمدعو زكريا عزمى ) .. ما ادى الى تعطلها و تراكم المياة وارتفاع منسوبها وضغطها على أجزاء من الجسر الخرسانى الذى أدى الى حدوث شروخ فيه أدت الى تسرب بطئ للمياة تجاه القرية ثم ما لبث ان انهار الجسر وأغرق بيوتها .. كل هذا تم منذ الفجر وقام المواطنون بالإبلاغ وكان من الممكن حل المأساه قبل ان تحدث اذا تدخلت السلطات بسرعة ولكن السلطات كانت فى وادى والشعب فى واد .. ولم يتحرك المحافظ الا عصر اليوم بعد ان حدث ما حدث والأدهى ان اول تصريح له كان لطمأنة الناس ان القرية بعيدة تماما عن المعبد وان الآثار بخير .. وكأن البشر لا يساوون شيئا .. وكأننا لا نساوى حتى تصريح يطمئن الناس عن أرواحنا نحن نقدر تماما قيمة الآثار فهى آثارنا تربى أجدادنا فى وجودها وعرفوا وحفظوا قيمتها على مر السنين .. ولكن لا يقاس ثمن كل آثار مصر بظفر مواطن من شعبها .

بالطبع رفض الأهالى زيارة المحافظ وهو ما لا يلاموا علية أبدا بعد تقصيرة وفشلة فى ادارة الأزمة .. ولكن على من نلقى اللوم المحافظ أم المجلس .. فالمجلس العسكرى هو الذى أودى بنا الى هذة الحالة بعد ان فشل تماما فى ادارة امور البلاد وادارة الأزمات التى مرت بنا خلال عام مضى .. أهالى القرية كثيرا ما رفعوا مظالمهم وطالبوا بحلول لهذة المشاكل سواء المتعلقة بالترعة او الانفلات الامنى المتعمد ولكن قد أسمعت ان ناديت حيا ولكن لا حياة لمن تنادى .

ندرك تماما اننا نعانى تحت وطأة الحكم العسكرى مثلنا مثل جميع المصريين وكذلك كنا جميعا قبل اندلاع شرارة الثورة ولكن اذا اختار الآخرين الصمت عن حقوقهم فهذا شأنهم وقد قررنا اننا لن نصمت أبدا عن حقوقنا .. الأمور مازالت تزداد سوءا يوما بعد يوم وعمليات السرقة المسلحة والمنظمة مستمرة والأجهزة الأمنية لا تحرك ساكنا .. بعد غرق القرية بأيام استولى مجموعة من البلطجية والعصابات مسلحة على اراض جمعية زراعية يملكها النوبيون وعندما تجمهروا امام القطاع العسكرى كان الرد من القيادة ( روحوا هاتوا اراضيكم احنا مش هنعمل حاجة لحد غير بعد الانتخابات )

الأدهى والأمر أن الأهالى اجتمعوا بمدير أمن أسوان .. والرواية من طرف الأستاذ فوزى جاير من قرية أبوسمبل .. اجتمع الأهالى بمدير الأمن وسلموه كشفا بأسامى وأماكن وقرى هؤلاء البلطجية والخارجين عن القانون على أمل ان يتم القبض عليهم .. ولكن كل ذلك لم يلق صدى لدى أجهزة الحكومة ومازال المجرمون يعيشون بحريتهم ومازالت المنطقة تعانى والأهالي لا يجدون أذنا صاغية .

لا نعرف ماهو المطلوب منا .. هل المطلوب أن تتقاعس الشرطة عن أداء واجبها ونتحمل نحن المسئولية.. هل سيكون الوضع مرض عندما نحمل السلاح لندافع عن أملاكنا وأرواحنا وممتلكات الدولة .. هل من الطبيعى ان تزيد رواتب ضباط الشرطة أكثر من 200% وهم جالسون فى مكاتبهم ؟؟!!! اذا كان هناك احد من المسئولين يملك ردا على هذة الأسئلة فليتفضل بالاجابة .

نعلم أن الآن الأمور استقرت بالقرية وعادت الامور الى أحسن مما كانت عليه.. ولكن الى متى سنصمت على هذة الطريقة الفاشلة فى ادارة الأزمات .. الى متى يجب على النوبيون تحمل العيش فى قرى التهجير بكل مساوئها فى حين انه لا يوجد مانع يمنع عودتهم الى مكانهم وقراهم التاريخية على ضفاف البحيرة الا الرفض السياسى وعدم وجود ارادة سياسية لحل هذه الأزمة .

القضية النوبية تعود لعام 1902 وان لم يكن قبل ذلك .. عندما تقرر بناء خزان أسوان ثم تلته التعليات وصولا الى ثلاثينيات القرن الماضى ثم بناء السد العالى فى الستينيات وحتى سبعينيات القرن الماضى .. سدود وخزانات تعود بالنفع على القطر كله .. ولكن يقابلها فى النوبة غرق وتهجير واجحاف وذل وتهميش .. قرانا وقبور أجدادنا التى غرقت أراضينا ونخيلنا الذى لم نكن نملك غيرة ذهب بغير رجعة .. والمقابل كان بخسا زهيدا .. تعويضات لا تساوى ربع القيمة الحقيقية للبيوت والأراضى والنخيل .. وقرى فى صحراء مقفرة بعيدة عن النيل شريان الحياة وعمادها بالنسبة للانسان النوبى كل هذا ولم تتكلف الدولة الا عناء انقاذ آثار النوبة .. وحتى تلك لم تلتفت لها الا بعد هب العالم اجمع لانقاذ تراث الانسانية .. حتى القرى التى تدفع ثمنها منظمة الفاو للدولة لاعادة توطين النوبيين .. يتم تسكين مواطنون من كفر الشيخ والبحيرة وسوهاج بها .. لا نمانع فكلها مصر ولكن .. لمن تكون الأولوية .. لمن تكون الاولوية .. لنا أصحاب الأرض والتضحية .. أم لغيرنا .. أم ان الدولة تريد أن تغير ديموغرافية المنطقة بما يشوبه خلخلة ديموغرافية ؟؟!! .. ام انها محاولة أخرى لافتعال أزمة بين أبناء الوطن ليتناحروا على أراضيهم وملكياتهم ؟؟!! حتى مشروع توشكى الفاشل الذى دشنه رئيس الوزراء الحالى .. بيعت أراضية للأجانب بأسعار زهيدة أهدرت مليارات من المال العام .. ألم يكن أولى أن يتملك النوبيون هذه الأراض بما يعود بالنفع على مصر ويحل قضية عالقة لأكثر من مائة عام !!!

حتى الآن لم يتسلم المتضررين تعويضاتهم المقررة .. بعد مرور 70 عاما على آخر تعلية لخزان أسوان و 40 عاما على بدء بناء السد العالى .. حتى الآن لم يتسلم المتضررين بيوتهم وأراضيهم .. عائلتى أنا شخصيا لم تتسلم كل تعويضاتها بعد ولا نعلم ما المطلوب منا لتشعر الدولة بنا وتعترف بحقوقنا .

تهجيرات وغرق .. حضارة منسية مرفوض الحديث عنها فى كتب التاريخ .. عرقية وثقافة اثنية لا يعلم عنها احد اى شئ .. تهميش وتجاهل واستهزاء وتعالى فى الاعلام الذى لم يجد ما يصف به النوبيون غير انهم خدم , كل هذا على مدار أكثر من 100 عام كل هذا ونحن صامتون .. نتحمل من أجل مصر الوطن الكبير الذى نعشقه كعشقنا لروحنا تحملنا اتهامات كثيرة من قبل باننا نسعى للانفصال وأننا نعمل على مخطط تقسيم مصر .. ومازالت هذة الاتهامات توجه لنا .. وتنال من وطنيتنا التى لن نبالغ اذا قلنا أنها فاقت وطنية أى فصيل .. ضحينا كثيرا ومازلنا .. ونؤكد ان رأب صدع مصر لن يكون الا من خلالنا .. وأبدا لن تؤتى مصر من قبلنا

أما وقد رأينا طريقة ادارة المجلس العسكرى للبلاد وتعمده اختلاق أزمات تودى بالوطن الى الهلاك .. أما وقد تأكدنا ووقر فى قلوبنا أن المجلس العسكرى لا يؤتمن على مصر بأى حال من الأحوال .. فان الدولة ليس أمامها خيار آخر .. قرانا فى التهجير لا تصلح .. ووادى كركر لا يصلح .. العودة حق ليس فىه تفاوض أو تنازل .. فقط كيفية العودة وطريقتها هى التى مطروحة للنقاش .. أما الآن وبعد كل هذة الأزمات وبعد الصبر والصمت والتحمل فالدولة ملزمة .. التزاما كاملا باعادة بناء قرى النوبة فى أماكنها الأصلية وبما تقتضية طبيعة منسوب المياة فى البحيرة .. وملزمة باعادة توطين النوبيين فيها التزاما تاما .. فكما انتزعت الدولة عند بناء السد والخزان منا ملكية 44 قرية بطول أكثر من 350 كيلومتر على جانبى نهر النيل.. عليها الآن أن تعيدنا الى 44 قرية على جانبى بحيرة النوبة وأن تتخلى عن كل خططها ومسكناتها التى لن تحل الوضع فقد أعلنت الحكومة مسبقا عن انشاء قرية أبو سمبل الجديدة وابريم الجديدة فى الظهير الصحراوى لمركز نصر النوبة مما يكلف الدولة الملايين .. نحن لانريد قرى فى نصر النوبة أو فى ظهيرة الصحراوى .. نريد قرانا على ضفاف البحيرة وكفى الدولة تبذيرا واسرافا واهدارا من أموال الشعب لما ليس فى صالحة ولا يريدة .

نعى تماما الظروف الحالية .. وندرك أننا قد لا نكون ممثلين لكل النوبيين ولكن هذة رؤيتنا للواقع .. وهذة فكرتنا فى الحل الذى طالما آثرنا ان نؤجلها الى حين ولكن .. لم يعد من الممكن التحمل بعد الآن .. قد يشاركنا غيرنا رؤيتنا وقد نتعاون سويا من أجل الوصول الى هذا الحل .. ولكننا نؤكد أننا ليس أمامنا أى مجال لتقديم أى تنازلات والتفاوض لن يكون الا على طريقة العودة نزولنا الى الشارع والميدان مرة أخرى أملا حتمى فثورتنا لم تكتمل بعد والنظام لم يسقط ...

ثورتنا مستمرة .. المجد لشهدائنا الأبرار .. يسقط يسقط حكم العسكر ...

السنة دي من عينين نوبية

2011-12-28T09:12:00.000-08:00

السنة كانت سنة مميزة ليا ، ابتدت بالثورة طبعا ، بس انا مش عاوزة اكتب عن الثورة و اللي عملته في حياتي المرة دي.

انا عايزة اكتب عن رؤيتي لنفسي كنوبية في مجتمع بيعيد تشكيل نفسه ، و عايزة اركز علي رؤيتي لنفسي جوة المجتمع النوبي نفسه بالاساس . انا كان عندي اهتمام بالقضية تفاوت مع الوقت ، لكن اكتر حاجة حسيت انها فرقت معايا معرفتي اكتر عن فكرة التعددية الثقافية و امكانية الانتماء لاكثر من انتماء سواء ديني او اثني او قومي .

قبل الثورة ما كانتش حابة اشترك في اي نشاط نوبي ، لا النادي النوبي و لا التجمعات التانية و دة لسبب شخصي بحت ، انني باشوف ان مشاركة البنات بتتشاف انها رحلة البحث السرمدية عن عريس و عشان كدة عمري ما رحت

لغاية ما قابلت يحي في اعقاب الثورة و من كثر الزن و الالحاح ، رحت معاه اجتماع اتحاد شباب النوبة الديموقراطي ، عجبتني فكرة اننا مختلفين اللي لبيرالي و اللي يساري و اللي مش معرف نفسه ايدولوجيا و كمان احنا فاديكات و كنوز و الالطف من دة و دة البنات الجامدين اللي في الاتحاد اللي عاملين توازن و قوة دفع هايل . انا مش ناوية اتكلم عن الاتحاد كفكرة و اهداف و مهمة . انا عاوزة اتكلم عن الروح اللي ادهاني ، مثلا يوم ما اشترينا كلنا رواية الشمندورة لمحمد خلبل قاسم اللي بتتكلم عن البلد القديم و تهجير 1932 . اول مرة احس اني شفت البلد القديمة و حسيت اننا لما قرينا الرواية كلنا اننا شفنا البلد و لو مش روئ عين .

بس رغم الفخر بتاريخ قديم و شباب زي الورد قادرين يتمسكوا بهويتهم في ظل عواصف المسخ ، مثلا حاولنا نتعلم اللغة النوبية سوا ، صحيح قليل اللي تماسك و كمل بس شرف المحاولة كان في حد ذاته مكسب . بس برضه و انا بابص للسنة اللي عدت مش شايفة الا غرق قرية ابو سمبل و مقتل المراكبي و فض الاعتصام اللي عند محافظة اسوان.

واضح ان العنت و العنف و الصلف نصيبنا من الدولة ، السؤال اللي باسأله لامتي و دة ها يؤدي لايه

السعي للفضاء المخملي

2011-12-11T07:35:00.000-08:00

انا اشتقت لفضائي المخملي ، الفضاء المخملي دة الحيلة الدفاعية اللي باعملها عشان اهرب من ضغط الايام و خصوصا لو صعبة زي ايامنا دي . انا كنت دايما باستخبي جوة ادائي الطفولي الغير مكترث بالتعقيدات . باحاول الاقي البهجة في حاجات صغيرة ، غنوة ، عروسة اشتريها تفكرني بعرايسي و انا صغيرة ، او حتي في دردشة هادية مع صديق و كوباية شاي باللبن .

كانت مزن دايما تحسدني ان من الصعب اخراجي من الفضاء المخملي ، بس السنة اللي فاتت دي كسرت كل التابوهات و بقيت باسعي بكل قوتي اني اتجاهل اللي حواليا و اني اتوه في فضائي و ساعات كتير افشل .

يعني مثلا رغم ان مقررة اني مش ها اقرأ كل مقالة و لا ها اشوف كل برنامج و لا فيديو ، بس برضه بالاقي نفسي مغموسة في تفاصيل مرهقة و مزعجة و معرفتي بها مش ها تغير حاجة الا غير انها تغير مزاجي لاسوأ. يمكن كمان بسبب طبيعة الشغل ، الناس بتتوقع منك قدر معين من المعرفة و انا مدركة لدة بس كمان ، زهقت اني محبوسة في التفاصيل المرهقة .

بس علي مين برضه لازم اهرب بنفسي لافكار رتيبة و هادية ، ما توترش دماغي و لا تربطني في عجلة الاخبار اللي مش راضية تبطئ دي .

كلنا محتاجين لفضاءات نستخبي فيها ، نشحن طاقاتنا و ننبسط و نرجع تاني للساقية اليومية .

An ordinary dilemma

2011-11-01T07:26:00.000-07:00

I am really disappointed from myself, I know that I love punishing myself and putting high standards to be met .

Recently I am feeling weird with the drastic change of style after removing the veil. I am trying to drew my lines what is appropriate, what is not , what is pretty, and what is not .

One of the most difficult issue, how to deal with my hair which is all over the place and with huge volume . I thought that I have been always admiring the African braids , especially the corn rose. However I am hesitant to do that for two bad reasons, firstly : I do not want the people in the streets to think that I am not Egyptian, although they already think I am African American or Sudanese…etc. and the second reason that my lovely BF thinks that it will not be nice with me. Although I think I will be pretty with it, but I am clueless what to do …… sigh

So I am a bad girl controlled by the fear of being victim to the xenophobes and racists in the Egyptians streets and also afraid from not being beautiful in my man's eyes .

I know that I did not stand up for myself or what I believe….. I am just sharing, I hope you will not judge me

This post is inspired by a warm talk with my friend Y.

Women Live Under Muslim Laws : women solidarity

2011-10-24T07:54:00.000-07:00

One of the most favorite Arab quotes for me is "Rodo al Fadel l ahlo" or give the credit back to the people who deserve it. That's why I am writing this post.

I am writing this post to celebrate belonging to a great family, which the international solidarity network Women Live Under Muslim Laws , herein after WLUML. This network is group of women from all over the world , their lives are shaped by laws driven from Islam. It started in 1984 , after incidents in many parts of the world which proved that so called Islamic laws can be a cause for violating women rights. That’s why different women came along to start WLUML.

The name of the network might lead the readers that it is exclusive for Muslim women, on contrary WLUML is a network that consist of women who were born Muslims but they do not identify themselves as Muslims, non Muslim women who live in Muslim countries, Muslims in non Muslim counties, and Muslims in Diaspora.

I get to know WLML when I was studying for my MA in my search for the term "Islamic feminism", I came across them in my search for who is consider to be Islamic feminist and whether any feminist approaching Islam is an Islamic feminist. And the answer I found out that being an Islamic feminist means to work within the paradigm , and not every critique to Islam is Islamic feminism. And I came to recognition of the secular nature of WLUML, however it is still a welcoming place to women who have the same interest if they share the same goals , even if they see different ways of achieving the goals .

WLUML works mainly on offering support and knowledge and securing networks for its networkers . I have been always valuing this such, until the Egyptian revolution came and it was my only way out , WLUML staff kept calling me, publishing what I write when the internet return back . and it conveyed my message and voiced that situations of millions of Egyptians , men and women.

I carry a lot of gratitude to WLUML, where I learn the virtue of respecting the different opinions and gained power and energy to fight for my cause whatever happen. the solidarity is our only weapon

Have a look on WLUML website and if you value their contribution to the humanity , show that through spreading the word and donation

Photo : New Volunteers Institute in Penang , Malaysia, 2007

Comment on Amr Diab phedophilic song

2011-10-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

He released a new CD , I was impressed that he did so although I know that the current political and economic situation will influence the sales badly.

What astonished me in this CD, not that is lame reputation to his older songs , but the awful song " Ya ret senek yezid sanatin , ashan senek keda soghier" which mean, I wish you were two years older , because now you are too young !!!!!

. this is clear case of pedophilia , that he loves an underage girl and he can not have a relationship with her.

I could not help but analyzing this song from a sexual perspective and it really irritated me , however some of my friends started arguing that the idea of the legal age of marriage and the legal agency to have concessional sexual relation is relative , that in country which approve sexual relations within marriage institutions , the marriage age is 18 or like deciding 18 as age for concessional sex in other countries that enjoys sexual freedom.

I agree that why it is 18 not 19 for example , and what is standard to know that the person has the agency to decide what is right and what is wrong.

This song just remind with a deep rooted problem in Egypt which the early marriage, where the economics , culture and bad interpretations of Islam co operate to harm thousands of young Egyptian women. And in this regard I have to say that the legal solution is not the effective solution , I believe it needs a holistic solution .

This is just some scattered ideas which invaded my mind while listening to this ugly song

علي انغام العنصرية هيا بنا نغني

2011-09-26T19:05:00.000-07:00

, استكمالا لمشروع ترسيخ العنصرية و نعرات الكراهية في المجتمع المصري ، قام بعض الافراد الغير مسئوليين بتدوال فيديو

يسخر من لاعب الزمالك محمود عبد الرازق الشهير بشيكابالا ، مصورا شيكابلا فتي اسود البشرة يبدو علي لكنته انه ينحدر من اصول نوبية

تعامل الكثيرين مع الفيديو باريحية ومرح و اتخذه البعض فرصة لاطلاق الدعابات .

و لكنني لم اشعر باي ظرافة و لا لطافة من الفيديو المذكور ، بل علي العكس قادني لسلسة من الحوارات الحادة العنيفة و كان جدير بتكدير يومي ، و ذلك لانه ببساطة عنصري ، يرسخ للصور النمطية عن سود البشرة و النوبيين في مصر ، فالفتي كان الشكل التقليدي للنوبي يعمل في وظيفة قليلة الشأن ، بواب و لكنته مضكحة لاصله النوبي ، و هذا طبعا قادر علي ايقاظ كمية الم قادرة علي تكديري و

احساسي القاتل بالرغبة في سب كل مطاول

لغريب ان بعض الظرفاء طرح كمية افكار مريضة منها مثلا ، و ما الجديد في ذلك ايتو ينعت بالقرد في اسبانيا و دروجبا يلقي عليه

قشر الموز ، و اضاف ان العنصرية ليست ضد السود و لكن ضد الشواذ و ضد الايموز ، و البعض وصفني اني اهول الامور و استعجب ما المشكلة في المشكاسات بين جمهور الاهلي و شيكابالا ، علي الرغم المشاكسات اللطيفة تمتد لحد السب بالام و المعايرة باللون و يرد شيكابالا ذو الاعصاب المنفلتة بردود لا تقل بذاءة ، تتراوح من رفع الحذاء ، انتهاءا باستخدام اصابعه بشكل غير ودي

علي اية حال لم اغضب دفاعا علي شيكابالا ، رغم انني كمشجعة للزمالك احبه كاهم اركان الفريق، الا انني اخذ عليه انفلات اعصابه،

، لكم مللت من الكلمات الجوفاء التي تقال في الاعياد و المناسبات الرسمية من نوعية ان النوبيين من النسيج الوطني و التباهي بدورهم في حرب اكتوبر و ان لغة التواصل هي اللغة النوبية و ما عداها من كليشهات ، بهتت من كثر استخدامها

لم اعد احتمل سخافات و تعليقات سمجة لها و اعتقد ان من يهتم ان تصبح مصر اكثر احتراما لادمية ابنائها ، عليه ان يمعن التفكير في هذا الشأن ،غضبت لردة في شعب يدعي انه متأخي و متماسك و يدعي انه يحترم التنوع الثقافي و الديني و النوعي

كل ما اردت ان اؤكد عليه ان ما يمثله هذا الفيديو هو الحط من شأن افراد للونهم او اصلهم العرقي ، و هذا ابسط تعريف للعنصرية، في دول اكثر تقدما من الناحية التشريعية تتخذ الاعراف الدولية و المواثيق شرعة لها ، من السهل جدا مقاضاة مثل ناشر هذا الفيديو و اتذكر قضية هيفاء وهبي حين قالت قردي النوبي و رفع عليه مجموعة منت المحاميين النوبيين قضية، الا انهم اثاروا السلامة و لم يستكملوا اجراءات التقاضي

علي اية حال انا غضبانة و العنصرية بالفعل مرض مستشري في مصر ضد فئات كثيرة و اعتقد اننا علينا اعادة تعريف الكثير من الاشياء و علينا ان نتحلي بالشجاعة لتسمية الاشياء باسمائها

علي هامش اعتصام النوبيين المطالبين بحق العودة

2011-09-04T07:54:00.000-07:00

انا عارفة اني منفعلة و غضبانة جدا و انا باكتب التدوينة دي بس بجد اللي بيحصل النهاردة في القضية النوبية في مصرفاق قدرتي علي التحمل

يعني مش قادرة افهم و لا اصدق الصلف و العنجهية اللي بنتعامل بها من كل الحكومات المصرية من عهد عبد الناصر لغاية عهد المجلس العسكري المجيد . سكتنا علي تهميش و استبعاد و تعامل فوقي و انتقاص من مواطتننا و انتهاك لابسط حقوقنا في عيشة كريمة لعقود طويلة .

عانينا من غباء ادارات متعقبة اتعاملت معنا اننا شنطة تتحط و تتشال في اي حتة تعجبهم و لا كأننا بني ادمين اصلا و لا اننا مجتمع له خصوصيته الثقافية و العرقية . ، ليه يعني نتهجر في قرن واحد 3 مرات ، في شرع مين دة . في كل مرة كانت الحكومة تختار بين الكتلة البشرية النوبية و مشاريعها التنموية اللي غير مخططة بدقة ، كانت الحكومة بتضحي بالبني ادمين . من يقول ان في التهجير الابشع و الاخير في 64 اليونسكو و الحكومة و العالم كله يخاف علي الحجر اكتر من البني ادم ، ليه الكل يهتم بنقل المعابد و البني ادم اللي عاش في ظلها و جدودهم هما اللي بنوها يترموا في صحراء بعد ما كان عايش في جنة خضراء .

انا كمان ممكن اتكلم من هنا لبكرة علي التعويضات الهزلية اللي خدناها عن بيوت و اراضي و مواشي و نخيل ، غرقوا و خدنا فيهم ابخس الاثمان

لو في اي انسان منصف يروح مركز نصر النوبة يشوف الوضع عامل ازاي ها يعرف اننا برة دائرة اهتمام الحكومة اصلا .

دة غير معاناة اللي راحوا المدن الكبيرة ، شفنا عنصرية و طبقية ما رحمتش حد ، دة غير مسخ الجيل الثاني و الثالث ،ما نعرفش عن ثقافتنا و تراثنا الا اقل القليل ، ليه انا اتولدت في بلد تعلمني لغة الاغلبية و انا لغتي الام ما اعرفش اقول منها الا ازيك و مع السلامة . مفيش و لا سطر في اي كتاب تاريخ في المدارس عن الحضارة النوبية ، اكنها اصبحت نسيا منسيا .

و اللي زاد و غطي اللي بيحصل بعد الثورة ، بجد لو رغبة في تحقيق دولة قائمة علي المواطنة كانت المفروض تأخذ خطوات لتحسين الوضع ، بس هما بيتعاملوا معنا انهم كل ما يرموا لنا الفتات ها نفرح بها و نسكت ، زي القرار بتخصيص ارض النوبيين اللي اصدره عصام شرف . بس بجد اللي حصل النهاردة في الاعتصام بتاع حق العودة مخزي، الجيش ازال الخيم و اعتقل اتنين ، ليه يعني !!!! و لسة الاحداث ها تتصاعد بعد القرار المخزي بضم دائرة كوم امبو لدائرة نصر النوبة ، المجلس العسكري و حكومته شلة كدابين ، بيقولوا كلام و يرجعوا فيه زي العيال

اه الحريق اللي حصل و اعمال العنف ما ترضيش حد ، بس الكبت و الظلم يخرجوا اي انسان عن شعوره و احنا سكتنا كتير و خالص بقي مش ها نسكت تاني و لا ها نرضي نبقي مواطنين درجة تانية ، احنا مش طالبين فضل من حد ، حقنا ها نأخد ها نأخده و ها نفضل نطالب به و مش ها ننسي مهما غسلوا دماغنا و عربونا

و ها نرجع للبلد القديمة ، لو مش النهاردة يبقي بكرة ، غصب عن عين التخين

كلمة اخيرة واقفة في زوري عايزة اقول للمشير طنطاوي كتر الف خيرك ، اثبتت ان كل الحكومات عمياء و غبية في تعاملها معنا حتي لو كان اللي رأسها نوبي

حلم مرحلة جديدة

2011-08-24T06:40:00.000-07:00

من الواضح اني بادخل مرحلة في حياتي ، ارائي بتتغير و كمان احلامي . انا نوبية بس اتولدت و عيشت عمري كله في القاهرة ، كل ذكرياتي مرتبطة بالمدينة دي ، ذكريات الطفولة و الفسح و المراهقة و بداية اكتشاف الدنيا و الشوارع لوحدي و الجامعة و الرحلات المارثونية من البيت للجامعة و الخروج في النصف الاخر من المدينة . و بعد كدة اكتشاف وسط البلد و القهاوي ، حتي و انا بعيدة انا فاكرة كويس اني لما كنت في منحة الماجستير كنت وحشاني الطرق و الزحمة و كل التفاصيل الصغيرة المزعجة ، كنت ساعات و انا في مالطا باحس اني ابيع نص عمري و ارجع اقعد ساعة واحدة مع اصحابي علي البورصة او اروح اكل في ابو طارق .

بس مؤخرا مش عارفة ليه حاسة ان القاهرة بقيت بتخنقني و تحولني لمسخ ما لوش ملامح ، انا مش قادرة اخرج من ذاكرتي اخر مرتين روحت فيهم البلد ، اسوان في 2005 و السنة اللي فاتت 2010. حسيت باحساس غريب ان المكان دة بتاعي و الناس اللي هناك دي انا مرتبطة بهم ، حسيت ا ن دة مجتمعي . بس الفكرة كانت بالنسبة لي رومانسية و متعلقة بشغفي بالبحث علي نفسي و علي ملامح هويتي اللي مش عايزاها تبقي مفروض عليا بحكم الموقع او التاريخ .

انا كان علي طول نفسي ابقي باكتب و نفسي اكمل مشواري العلمي و انتج و انشر ، بس الحلم دة بقي في جنبه حلم جديد اتبلور حديثا ، نفسي يبقي عندي مدرسة صغيرة في اسوان ، تبقي زي مدرستي بس كمان معدلة ، انا كنت محظوظة اني في مدرسة تجريبية ،كان عندنا حوش ، صحيح قعدوا يقصصوا منه عشان يبنوا مباني للاعدادي و الثانوي ، بس انا كنت بافضل اجري و العب و كنت باتعلم كويس و حصص العلوم كنا بنفجر المعامل و بنطبخ في التدبير المنزلي ، و كنت باكل دراع الناس في جماعة المناظرة ، انا باحب مدرستي اوي .

المدرسة اللي عايزة اعملها عايزاها تبقي مكان الاولاد يعملوا في كل اللي بيحبوه ، يغنوا و يلعبوا و يتعلموا ، و انا ها اعمل لهم غسيل مخ و اعمل لهم انشطة تفهمهم بشكل مبسط يعني ايه حقوق انسان و تعددية ثقافية و عدالة جندرية

نفسي اصحي الصبح اجي اروح الشغل فاعدي علي شارع الكورنيش في اسوان ، النيل في اسوان و بس ، هناك في البلد

The Shades of grey color : the Isreali protests

2011-08-11T23:10:00.000-07:00

I do not know why I am feeling so hesitant to write this post , lately I am feeling that the freedom I used to enjoy in my blog is questioned, yes it is not censored, but the mixed responses on the post of taking off the veil alerted me that I should not wait for tolerant feedbacks only from all my readers. I think that this post as well might or might not raise some questions .

The issue I want to raise is the feedback of the Arabs to certain uprisings taking place now. I think that the human history is witnessing a new phase and it started with an act of rebellion by Bou Azizi and it ended up into massive demonstrations all over the Middle East. And these revolutions varied in the level of the success, Tunisia and Egypt toppled the head of the state and still struggling with the rest of the system, Yemen stooped in a mid point where nothing is clear, Bahrain revolution faded because of the unethical intervention of the Gulf Cooperation Council, or basically the Saudi Arabia and Libya and Syria are facing bloody attacks on civilians from the so called national army .

Throughout these revolutions many facts were proved, like there is no more supremacy of the states of the media and in addition to that the citizen media played a crucial role in informing and documenting the revolutions, the vocal presence of women and youth and the most important factor in my view was the global support for the cause of the revolution from all over the world regardless the political stances and the cultural backgrounds

I remember how I was happy to get solidarity calls and emails from all over the world and in the other hand I was happy to see the Spanish protesters using a banner saying: this is Tahrir square , or walk like an Egyptians, I had this feeling again with the Greek protests.

However in a third case which is the Israeli protests had completely different echo in the Arab world, and hereby I am building my opinion on my observations on the social media , mainly FaceBook and Twitter.

The reaction was creating pages like "supporting the revolution of the sons of the dogs " and creating a hash tag on Twitter with the same name . I totally understand the reasons behind these reactions, this is a product of years of war and bloodshed and sadly it is still ongoing conflict . however I did not understand how Arabs ignore the point that such protests might be beneficial for their interests, if it brought to power a government willing to change the situation in the Middle East issue. If a failed prime minister like Bibi is toppled, a "better" peace partner might show off.

I know that Arabs will never consider Israelis friends , however the human and strategic relations have a lot of shades of the grey color. Should Arabs start searching for persons believing on similar principles in the other bank of the river , I am just wondering .

خطابات الكراهية

2011-07-23T03:48:00.000-07:00

اعاني من حالة الحب و الكراهية في ان واحد للتيارات الاسلامية ، ينبع الحب من تعاطفي و تعاطف قطاعات واسعة من الشعب المصري معهم بسبب ما لاقوه من عسف و اضطهاد علي يد الحكومات المتعاقبة منذ عهد عبد الناصر الي عهد المخلوع مبارك. و في نفس الوقت لا استطيع تحمل خطابهم الذي يكاد ينفي اسلام من لا ينتمي لهم و يدعي استئثارهم بالطريق الصحيح و انهم الفئة الغالبة ، ناهيك عن استخدام بعض الفصائل من التيار الاسلامي للعنف في فترات من التاريخ المصري و نهاية امقت مقارباتهم في التعامل مع قضايا المرأة التي تدعو للغثيان و تثير الشفقة.

دعوني اشارككم سبب كتابتي لهذه التدوينة ، قررت ان اكتب هذه التدوينة ردا علي التصريحات المسيئة و الغير مسئولة التي اطلقها بالامس المتحدث باسم الجماعة الاسلامية 22 من يوليو ، متهما العلمانيين و الليبراليين انهم يثيروا الفوضي و يزعزعوا امان البلاد و دعي الي حشد القوي الاسلامية و دعاها الي التواجد في ميدان التحرير الجمعة القادمة تحت مسمي جمعة الشرفاء . و دعوني ابدأ من هنا ، بالله عليكم ما هي اول الافكار التي تتوارد الي اذهانكم مع مسميات مثل جمعة الشرفاء التي تبطن في طياتهم تخوين كل من ليس في صفهم و نعتهم بالكفر لمجرد انهم انتموا لجماعة لها فكر سياسي مخالف .

فزعت عندما كرر السيد عصام عبد الماجد مصطلح العلمانيين و قرنه بالكفر و الخروج عن الدين و معادة الاسلام ، و هذه دعوة صريحة للكراهية و العنف ، خاصة في ظل الدعوة التي اطلقها المسماة بجمعة الشرفاء التي يسعي ان يجيش فيها لمواجهة القوي " التقدمية " في التحرير . هل سيتحول ميدان التحرير الي ساحة معركة بين الفصائل السياسية المصرية ، هل التطاحن هو هدف التيارات الاسلامية التي تتباهي بقدرتها علي حشد الملايين .

نهاية لهذه التدوينة ، يصعب علي شخصيا ان اتعاطي مع فئة تتظاهر للافراج عن العقل المفكر للجماعات الاسلامية ، عمر عبد الرحمن ، هذا الرجل الذي نظر و كتب ليحل سفك دماء الابرياء و بالتلي اشهرت الجماعة سلاحها في وجه المصريين و خرجت للحياة العامة بعد مراجعات فقهية يبدو انهم يراجعونها فعليا .

و احقاقا للحق اعتذر المدعو عاصم عن ما شاب تصريحاته من حدة ، الا ان ما جاء بها مع دعوة للكراهية جوهري و لايمكن الرجوع عنه

the latest decision : Taking the veil off

2011-06-19T08:19:00.000-07:00

When you take a decision , it always better to be fully aware of all its consequences and it is preferred that you should be in the state of mind that enables you to take the decision without falling under the pressure of the any unwanted influence .

This year I took a decision I was thinking about for long time, the decision is taking off my veil , almost two months ago I took off my veil , after wearing it for 14 years . my story with the veil varied in many situations, in the beginning , I decided like many young girls affected by Amr Khaled to wear veil . then I saw myself in my Hijab , in accordance to the so called "Islamic code of dress " and in accordance with the modest Muslim girl .

Furthermore, I started to read other discourse questioning the prevailing idea of obligation of Hijab, like the book of the Hijab of Gamal el Banna , where he deconstructs the claim saying Hijab in religious obligation , and he return back to trace the emergence of the idea and how it gained its strength. El Banna also asserted that the Hijab as social and cultural phenomena and it is not only religious . later on the interpretation and application of Prof Amina Wadud and her reading to the veil issue was another lighting proof .

I have to admit that I did not find this discourse catchy in the beginning and I was manipulated by the main stream discourse who raise verses and Hadith with one and only unified interpretations . I felt I was imprisoned in a narrow vision, which saw the world, power relations, modesty and women agency is a very parochial way, I felt that I need to read other visions, by that time I never thought my theoretical beliefs will lead to me to any personal decisions, it was for me a theoretical battle to prove that there are diversity in the Islamic paradigm .

I have to say that when I started to be informed in the issue of Hijab and the dilemma of its obligation or banning in many Muslim countries like Turkey, Iran, Saudi Arabia and Tunisia . I came to consideration in each single case the dynamics of disciplining women in the public sphere is different and it belong to the social, cultural and religious contexts , which has unique shape in each case.

Then I grow up and I witnessed personal experiences that shaped my perspective , like living abroad where the code of dress is dramatically different and also my relationship to non Hijabi girls in Egypt and the stories of their daily struggle to contest the decorum of this hard headed society. I came to a deep belief in 2008, that I am double faced and I am gaining agency through bargaining on my beliefs with my community and my society. The idea of taking it off came an go through with time , but it was never urgent, that in the end of the day, I am "empowered " I chose my work, I hang out with my friends and I travel and to sum it up I was enjoying freedom more than the average middle class girl in my age.

My turning point was the revolution , I felt that if we can fight for a country, and cannot fight for ourselves , then we are not free. I came to a point where I hated my hypocrisy . I knew that this decision will open the doors of hell, but I was not wise enough and I unveiled myself.

I want to say that what struck me the polarization of the Egyptian society , that on a side the conservative powers , which includes my family , my extended family , neighbors , and many others categories of the Egyptian society , and on the other hand the progressive powers which includes the Human rights defenders , academics and journalists who constitute my social cycle . I hated unstopping nagging and the covered threats of my family and I hated the extra warm congratulations of my progressive friends . my feeling now that I am shaping my new way , I do not feel liberated or gained a right , rather I feel that I reconciled with my belief.

Finally what I want to assert that Hijab is not a verse or a hadith and it is way beyond a woman fitna , it is about disciplining the system and drawing the guidelines and borders .
Global voices article, quoting me : find it here

خاطرة 11 مايو 2011

2011-05-11T08:09:00.000-07:00

ااكتب عن نظرة و ما يدور بها ، تفاصيل كثيرة و شخوص اكثر في هذه الفكرة ، ااكتب عن القادم لحياتي بطيف و الوان ليمنحها معني جديد، اشعر انني عاطفية جدا و انني سابدو مثل المراهقة ان كتبت عنه ، ااكتب عن ما يدور في الحركة النسوية و ما يعتريها من زخم ، اشعر انني اقرب للصحافية عندما اقوم بذلك و اكره ذلك

ساكتب عن نفسي ، انا متمركزة حول نفسي ، تبدأ الدنيا من حيث اري و ينتهي الطرف الاخر من الدنيا من الافق الاخر . لعل السبب في هذا اهتمام كل من ربوني باشعار بكوني متميزة ولا اخفيكم سرا ، انني اتوتر اذا شعرت اني افقد هذا التميز . حياتي تتغير ، عمري يتقدم ، اتقربت من الثلاثينيات، ما كان مسمومح به في العشرينات لم يعد مسموح به الان، هناك العديد من المسئوليات ، لم اعد الباحثة الشابة التي تتحثث طريقها ، يجب ان تكون كلماتي اكثر حكمة و دقة و رزانة . اعاني و اخاف . هل ان اهل لك ما انا مقدمة عليه ، اعلم اني اكتسبت في طريقي مهارات ليست بقليلة و بقليل من التركيز ، ستصبح ايامي افضل . فقط علي ان اقرر ان اكون افضل و الا اكون طفولية النزعة . هذا قرار العام التاسع و العشرين ان احتفي بنهاية العشرينات بان اترك عهد الطفولة و ابحث عن عمر اخر

a secret to be revealed

2011-05-07T12:03:00.000-07:00

i kept this piece of inforamtion as a secert, i tell the people that i love and care about.it is my illness. i am bipolar , the first attack was on 2000 wih the Intifeda. i met supportive and unsupportive people . but ia have to say that the persons that i care about most of them were understanding.

personally i feel weak and wounded . i anticipate the mode swings , i mesaure them and i try to enojy the small break in between each episode, i decided to blog on my experince with my disease and i called the blog :Fattou , i know that the psychological disease is a socail curse and i belive that my mission to say it is a great source of inspiration not tragedy and pain.
i passed days hullcencating and taking tons od medicines i spent enomrmous amount of money on being is phyctrist hospitals
what i really want o say that this is a beginning not an end in itself. you can still focus on traget and acheive
انا بس خايفة اموت مرمية لوحدي في العباسية ، لما فلوسي تخلص ـ و نفسي ان كل مريض نفسي يشفر يالامن ان هناك من سيساعده

Baher el Baqer , بحر البقر

2011-04-09T05:31:00.000-07:00

I had a chance when I was in the Carter Center, Human Rights defenders forum, to talk for few minutes with President Jimmy Carter. I told him that I was born in 1982, when the sovereignty over Sinai peninsula returned back to Egypt. And I appreciated his role in sponsoring the peace treaty.

I am pro peace and I am against impunity from the war crimes, I am saying that because yesterday the 8th of April was the memory of the massacre of Baher el Baqer which happened in 1970, which was committed by the Israeli army against the Egyptian school . the Israeli army bombed a civilian target, which is children school.

I am mad because the Rome convention of the international criminal court ICC does not prosecuted the war crimes before its establishment in 2000, so the Israeli criminals who killed the Egyptian kids will not be prosecuted. Add to this that the ICC is only applicable for its signatories and Israel will never be a signatory to escape from the justice. , ICC jurisdiction is also applied when the Security Council refer a case to the ICC, like the case of Darfur, Sudan.

I believe that the crimes committed by the Israeli army should be left unaccounted , the international human rights system should be reformed to entrench justice.

When the criminals enjoy impunity , the only result will happen is the spread of hatred and the lust for revenge .

Stop impunity.

Prosecute the criminals .

Power politics should deny human their rights

Perpetrators of human rights should be prosecuted if even time goes on

سنحت لي الفرصة أن التقي بالرئيس الأمريكي الأسبق جيمي كارتر ، في أثناء انعقاد مؤتمر منتدى المدافعين عن حقوق الإنسان في مركز كارتر باطلا نطا ، و أبلغته أني ولدت في عام 1982 حين استعادت مصر السيطرة الكاملة علي شبه جزيرة سيناء بموجب اتفاقية كامب ديفيد

علي آن اعترف أني من مؤيدي السلام و ذلك فانا ضد إفلات المجرمين من العقاب ، أتحدث بهذا الخصوص لان الأمس كان ذكري مذبحة بحر البقر التي ارتكبها الجيش الإسرائيلي في الثامن من ابريل 1970. حيث قصفت الطائرات الإسرائيلية هدف مدني و هو مدرسة بحر البقر الابتدائية

ما زالت أتذكر مشهد قصف المدرسة في فيلم "العمر لحظة" و أتذكر كم كنت ارتعد و أنا طفلة صغيرة أن تتكرر المأساة في مدرستي ، أتذكر كشاكيل الأطفال الغارقة في الدماء و لافتة المدرسة المرمية علي الأرض في أعقاب القصف.

أكاد اجن لان ميثاق روما الذي أنشأت بموجبه المحكمة الجنائية لا يعاقب مرتكبي الجرائم التي تقع تحت اختصاصه إلا ما حدث بعد تاريخ إعلانه ، و كذلك لا ينفذ الميثاق إلا بشأن الدول الموقع عليه و إسرائيل لم و لن توقع هذا الميثاق لتفلت من العقاب علي جرائمها في حق شعوب المنطقة. و من الجدير بالذكر أن مجلس الأمن من مكنته إحالة مرتكبي الجرائم التي تقع في اختصاص المحكمة إلي المحاكمة ، كما حدث في حالة دارفور ، السودان

أؤمن أن الجرائم التي ارتكبها الاسرائيلون لا يجب أن تمضي عبثا دون محاكمة ، و كذلك أؤمن أن الجرائم ضد حقوق الإنسان لا تسقط بالتقادم ، علي نظام العدالة الدولية أو ما يعرف بالقانون الدولي لحقوق الإنسان أن يعدل ليرسخ العدالة .

عندما يمضي المجرمون بلا عقاب ، تسود الكراهية و تنتشر الرغبة في الانتقام

أوقفوا الإفلات من العقاب

حاكموا المجرمين و المحرضين علي الجريمة

توازنات القوي لا يجب أن تنتهك حقوق الإنسان

Human Rights Defenders Forum 1

2011-04-04T19:04:00.000-07:00

I am participating in the Human Rights Defenders forum organized by Carter Center.

Although it was very difficult to come to Atlanta and I faced hard times with my visa and I was interrogated in the airport, but the discussions of the conference made it up for me.

This forum started by idea raised by former president of US Jimmy Carter about the role of religion in advancement or suppression of women , he raised this idea two years ago in the Congress of the world religions . And that’s why the center organized this forum to allow people from different places of the world , from different religious traditions to share the best practices in this topic. the attendees of the forum are Human Rights activists, academics , religious leaders , traditions leaders and social media activists .

First of all this conference is so special for me because I met Prof Abduallahi Nai'em and he is just a great inspiration for me and many Muslims, his writing of Human Rights, secularism and Islam is guiding me and many Muslims all over the world . Prof el Naiem is challenging the traditional interpretations of Islam , deconstructing them and offering a progressive point of view that reconcile Islam with concepts like democracy, secularism and Human rights .

The second reason which make me happy that I am presenting Nazra project "exploring taboos " on using the social media to tackle sexuality issues in Egypt , this project is funded by Rising Voices project. Exploring taboos is a project that is trying to start a public debate about the taboos in the Egyptian society not to confront it and to deconstruct it but to raise awareness and create a safe zone to tackle such issues .

The last reason for my happiness that I found people I related to , follow feminists from the international solidarity network , Women Live Under Muslim Laws and the international campaign for equality in the family law in Muslim world Musawah

The conference is such a safe place to exchange and question ideas and beliefs and being here is such a unique experience.

Vriginity Obessesion

2011-03-31T06:43:00.000-07:00

I wrote my last post on the usage of the virginity issue in the Egyptian political scene, I considered it sexualistaion and objectification of women, but these lofty words are not enough to describe the pains and the tragedies associated with virginity issue. The ugly face of the patriarchal society we are living in appeared again , that unfortunately the issue of virginity seems to be dominant on the agenda of the Egyptian politics lately. Recently brutal facts appeared, thanks to the great efforts of El Nadeem center of rehabilitation of the victims of violence. El Nadeem center uncovered the crimes committed by the army against the female detainees of the break into of Tahrir square on the 9th of March. The testimonies showed that the army doctors violated the bodily and sexual rights and integrity of the female detainees by testing their virginity .

To cut it short , let's say that this is beyond disgusting , and it shows the obsession of a whole society by inch of membrane and the rooted tendency to evaluate women according to their sexual activity . I really cannot imagine what parochial mentality can control a society to judge women morality according to her usage of her vagina. I cannot see more humiliation than the virginity test which classify women either into respectable women or whores .

I strongly believe that women have the full and free well to discuss how , when and with whom to have sex, and I think that the obsession of women " honor" is just attempt by the family, partner and the community to impose their control on women and regulate their behavior according to what so called social norms .

The obsession by virginity reminds me with the chastity belts in the medieval times , that when a society categorize women according to the existence of their hymens or not , it is exactly the same like hanging unseen chastity belt in each women genitals and taking the keys from them . The unseen belt might be based on religion or tradition, but whatever reasons behind it this unseen belt , it transforms women into a commodity to be evaluated , sold and enslaved.

I am not pro or anti pre martial sex, however I am a vocal advocate of women autonomy , women should decide whether or not to be engaged in sexual relations and the consequences of their decisions should not stigmatize them .

Finally , I am still traumatized and speechless that the state of women's hymen can be used against her in a legal case in a court in Egypt, I cannot believe that woman can be judged because she decided to exercise my rights over her own body. I know that virginity is a taboo in Egypt and it will still be for very long time, but taboos are not eternal facts , they are moveable yet resisting rocks . I wish that one day our society will come to an understanding that the autonomy of women is not promiscuity and it will not disturb the balance of the universe .

Honor of a woman is beyond blood and felsh

the virginity and the constitution

2011-03-15T09:51:00.000-07:00

My friend Doaa Abd elAal sent me a video of amending the constitution, which is the hot political topic in Egypt. The opposition to this amendments called it trail to rebuild the constitution, but the term used in Arabic was "Terqee'" aka rebuilding the hymen.

And that was visualized in a video of a woman seems not " good enough " according to the Egyptian conservative standard and she was described that she was doing all what she wants , mainly having sex before marriage . The scene after that an innocent bride and her groom and the video ends by you deserve better than that.

The bottom line is this is sexism, the Ad used the women sexuality and judged women who choose certain choices that that is not accepted by the society that the are not " good " women, I just want to ask why this primary questions is still valid, I feel that many things changes and some things seems to be unmovable rocks like the issue of virginity.

replying on the Anti Million Mrach article by Marwa RAKHA

2011-03-09T06:43:00.000-08:00

I read Marwa Rakha post on the Million women march. I enjoyed reading the opposite point of view of mine; I felt she is saying everything I am disagreeing with.

Lets start with the holding the march itself, i believe that the women who struggled to achieve the liberty of Egypt side by side with men should not be banned from claiming their right to public sphere to advocating for their rights as women and as citizens, we can debate whether the time is appropriate to hold this march or not but Marwa discourse of refusing any women marches is just not logical and denying women their rights in the public sphere.

Another point was raised that the people who harassed the women rights activists are not the Jan25 people, who said we were expecting those people, we knew before the protest that the ordinary Egyptian citizen will be there, with all the complexity of misogyny and patriarchy and those are the people who the feminist movement will be targeting in its struggle to end discrimination in Egypt, we had many good, valid rational discussion yesterday with many women and men, I remember a discussion I did with a woman she approached me and she said I seem like a good girl , mainly because I am veiled and she said to ma women have gained every single rights, go home and mind your business, I used the family law deficiency to show her theta legal reform is needed and she agreed with me. Yes the situation escalated and yes there were some feminists very snoppish and they were rude and provocative, but these are personal manners not be questioned when you address a movement.

I have to say that the problem that I found with Marwa's article is her part when she said if a woman is happy in her suppressed life, I as a feminist should not bother to fight for her. I have to admit this is a very weird critique and a very weak one to a main principle of feminism which is the women sisterhood, that a feminist can advocate for other women rights if they are encountering discrimination even if the woman is not aware by what she is facing, educating her, articulating her interests and advocating for her rights is the core of feminism.

I am still advocating for calling for women rights as women and as citizens and I think that’s the argument which is saying that feminists are representatives of delegates of women is just too ridiculous that I can not even argue with .

Women in Egypt are and will be visible with many different point of views and that the beauty of the Egyptian feminist movement

Women day march : between overwhelmed and brutal

2011-03-08T13:06:00.000-08:00

I came to the internet café, tired from carrying the banner, I was thinking I will get rest then go back to the "celebration". It was planned to have bands playing. But rather something else happened.

In my rest and happiness while writing the last post, the misogynist demonstrations which were a combination of thugs or regulars people started to be very provocative, they shouted male protesters that they should wear veil as sign of their femininity and that they are gays because they are supporting women cause. On the other side the long provocative pathetic dialogues between the protesters and the regular people on the street started to get violent verbally, they started calling them whores, agents of Suzanne Mubarak and the west. Then the harassments, I mean the physical ones started, when I was listening to the stories of the "survivors" I just recalled the organized sexual harassment crime in the referendum of 2005, I remembered when sexual harassment is the weapon against women.

So the fear made everyone leave the square and we were scattered in Cairo streets. What a day, it was weird I felt very optimistic in the beginning in the march from the press syndicate to Tahrir, It was liberation, then I had mixed feeling, I was irritated by the feminist divas and I was annoyed that the regular women are not there it was very elitist, I hated the mania of western media to cover the event, and then I started to be frustrated and angry when Egyptians played the wicked game of using religion to suppress women and the ending sentence for this dramatic day was brutalizing women.

Since the beginning of revolution my favorite words were "overwhelmed" and " brutal", I was half skeptical, half optimistic, now I feel there that Tahrir ethics was temporary and we are back to earth , Tahrir and all Egypt streets is not heaven we have to fight as hard as it get to achieve equality

VIVA WOMEN RIGHTS

IT IS OUR STRUGGLE AND WE WILL CONTINUE

Women March day 2011 diaries

2011-03-08T07:23:00.001-08:00

Today I was heading to Tahrir square, again to protest.

This time I will protest against the despotism, lack of full citizenship and the weak fake democracy we are witnessing and I add to my list special things because today is the international women day I added patriarchy and misogyny

Today is the million march for women rights, let's start that the name is super duper optimistic, million chanting for women rights is a wild dream for Egyptian feminists, may be after a longer battle that number will be a reality. This is my first disappointment I went in time to the press syndicate to attend the march with the Coalition of Women Ngo which Nazra is part of. The important figures of feminist civil society came , the main stream civil society did not show up only few here or there and that’s typical women rights is not on the agenda of the human rights movement, they put is other reasons

Then I was distracted by the amount of the media and that they want to take some photos of a weak demonstration and go to their offices, and that lead to a shadow demonstration stealing from the lights of our demonstrations .

then the glorious moments started , we walked from the press syndicate to Tahrir square and I felt powerful and empowered , I was carrying slogan of a civil non sectarian , non religious state and I was happy that this is the streets of Egypt , the notorious streets of the harassments , and talking about a harassments , stupid guy took advantage that I am looking forward and he scared me and he excreted the anger in my, he was rescued by other protesters, he thought a typical move like this will scare a girl and make her scream, I did screamed but in anger.

Anyhow back to the glory, we invaded the streets and we owned it then we started to collect the piece of the protest in Tahrir, and we are chanting for constitutional, legal and political equality, and for full citizenship

The happiness did not stay for long time, the anger in the streets and the fierce replies to the chants of women rights chants, many misogynist reaction were raised, like women place is home , go and cook and politics is men work

Then I am tired and chilling up in the internet café , I will be writing more

Million March for women

2011-03-06T05:19:00.000-08:00

I have to start saying I do not like the annual celebration of the International Women day and I see it uncreative and quiet lame, the women rights Ngo gather with a small audience to talk about women rights, but as everything in Egypt , things are changing.

This year the women rights activists and feminists are organizing a Million March on women rights.

Many might say that this is not the right time to talk about certain sectors of the society and we should build a home land to every one women and men, I would say that yes it is time of raising the slogans of equality, justice and citizenship and acknowledge the role of women in doing so in their international day and later on in their national day in 16 of March. We should learn from the history of the feminist movement , they participate in 1919 and they were participating in post 1952 coup but then they were brutally silenced , women will not be silenced in this revolution .

Women are asking for a better Egypt for everyone, they will call for equal participation in drawing the political, constitutional and legal future fore Egypt, they confirm that they are against fundamentalism and militarization. Women will not only call for the eradication of violence against women but also for the full citizenship for the Egyptian minorities.

We will call for rights for everyone not only women

Meeting my first sweetheart

2011-03-04T10:17:00.001-08:00

Today is the religious wedding of my dearest school friend, I am very happy for her, that she is happy and she found a right match too.

I hate the weddings whether it is the social and the religious, they both are built on exploitation of fake emotions, and I like the small controlled gatherings with warm talks and real engagement with family and close friends.

Many school mates were there, we all changed, I did not see couple of them in a while, the life took us in different ways, and still we try to meet every now and then. This time was different, I met my first sweetheart there, he was the same just looking more masculine and more mature, and he introduced me to his wife. She is just a nice girl, ordinary eyes, I had a kind first impression about her, but I also noticed she is typical the girl that I refused to be like her, she is just too peaceful, easily guided , obedient only a house wife with no perspective, I do not despise house wives , but that is my night mare .

I felt in love with him when I was 15, we were in the debate team and I still remember his arguments against women work and good for him he applied it in his life. He is married to a "good" woman from his point of view. I felt bad that I was alone without a date; I felt that I chose my life and I found a good man to accompany me in my life trip, even if he is not there physically.
i am happy that i had the right to choose and i am happy with my choice

Mapping the Egyptian Politics

2011-02-23T00:39:00.000-08:00

I just forget all the political science theories that I ever studied, that a fact I realized when I was writing this post

On twitter I was asked what is the current map of Egypt? I would say the key indicator is the legitimacy and seeking it

I divide the political movements according to the legitimacy they have, the old soldiers pact like Wafd, Muslim Brotherhood and Tagmou are losing their legacy and legitimacy day after day , in the same time the groups of the youth which was represented the youth who revolted in Tahrir , are the groups that enjoy the complete legitimacy , even if there is internal fights because if their affiliations and ideological point of view

And in the middle the Armed Forces Council which seeks legitimacy and they have the power in the streets and they are ADMINISTRATING the country

That’s a clumsy way to map the Egyptian politics

A Disscusion on Sharia with Prof Omaima Abu Bakr

2011-02-20T04:44:00.001-08:00

I called my Egyptian mentor Prof Omaima Abu Bakr after the interview of Bloomberg was published; it was tackling the Sharia law and the stands of Egyptian women towards it.

I believe that Article 2 of the Egyptian constitution which stipulate that the principles of Sharia Law is the main principles of the Egyptian legislations, should be abolished

I discussed with Prof Omaima this issue, she thinks that we need to amend the Article to change it to Sharia is a source of the Egyptian Legislation not the main source, Prof Omaima thinks that Islam is not just a religion prevailing numerically in Egypt, it is a factor of the Egyptian culture and it is a source of our legal custom. That why she sees the people calling for cancellation on Article 2 are exclusionists. She acknowledged the bad history of this Article and how the former president Anwar el Sadat included it to empower the Islamists (Muslim Brotherhood and other utilized it as well).

I agree with Dr Omaima in many arguments she raised however I am a student of Prof Abdullahi Naiem and I love his idea of Believing secularism, where secularism is no anti religion, it is separation between the private and public realm. Prof Abdullahi believes that religion is a matter of choice and that a believer should be free to choose to apply his faith in his /her life , not through to be forced by the government .

Thanks to Prof Omiama for allowing me to publish this discussion

a woman i love :Doaa Abdel Aal

2011-02-19T12:40:00.000-08:00

I love to write about great women in my life, I always write about Mozn Hassan. I wrote about my mentors Ziba Mir Hossieni and Amina Wadud and I will write on Omiama abu Bakr.

Today I will write about a friend that always prove that the saying friend in need in friend in deed. I will write about Doaa Abdel Aal .

I met Doaa in WLUML New Volunteer Institute in Malaysia in 2007, I derived her crazy with my childish attitude and my radical nonnegotiable tendencies, and however she was always the rational and pragmatic friend. I and Doaa agree on many issues on being Egyptian nationalist and feminist and we disagree on the pan Arabism ideology and secularism. Doaa showed me good faces of terms and ideologies I always hated, I witnessed her protecting her pan Arabism affiliation and in the same time celebrating and acknowledging other ethnicities in the Arab region and that was the same case with secularism, although she shares with the fear of the Islamists but she can differentiate in a very smart matter between the political Islam and other ideas affiliated with Islam as a paradigm

However we never found that a reason not to be close friend further more in 2010 our relation took a new step that Doaa joined Nazra community as a supporter, Doaa offered us many brilliant insights and she offered us guidance with her experience as a very prominent young expert on gender and politics in Egypt.

I do not write this post only to celebrate the presence of Doaa in my life as an example of dedication, hard work, loyalty and faith, I write it to celebrate an example of a generation of Egyptian women who paved their own way by their hands.

Doaa, my dear, stay strong, spectacular and honest as you always have been, dear I will never forget your endless attempts to support me personally and professionally. stay blessed

a historical day 16 feb

2011-02-18T05:59:00.000-08:00

I started calling my self a feminist in 2004, after year of meeting my guardian angel and best friend Mozn Hassan.
I was always questioning the religion and the gender relations, and that was emphasized when I attended the Human rights workshop of the university students by Cairo institute of Human Rights in 2003, because I attended the session of Prof Omiama Abu Bakr about women and Islam. And I found my lost paradise.
I always felt so bad in the Egyptian feminist movement, I felt I do not belong, I called them fundamentalist secular, I was really detached and isolated in my shell in Nazra community and internationally with my network Women Live Under Muslim Laws.
Yes I developed paranoia from the Egyptian feminist movement, but in a historical day in a historical phase of Egypt life. I was invited for the first time to attend the co ordination meeting of the Egyptian Feminist NGO group it was held in the New Women Research Center.
I attended that meeting in horrible fear that I will brutalized or ridiculed but my fate hided the best present to me I witnessed a new Egyptian feminist movement where ideology is not the label, age is not the group and race is not the affiliation . I felt that this is the end of a fear I developed alone and there is no reason to keep it anymore. i saw a new face,i saw unity and acceptance . the revolution brought the best of us
I just I want to say that I am proud to be in the same track with these women
To read the first statement of the group check here in Arabic

again the Veil..... Hijab

2011-02-14T04:45:00.000-08:00

In my last post women in the revolution I classified the women in the Jan 25 revolution according to how covered they are, but I thought that the non veiled and the causal veiled and the ultra religious veiled constitute different categories .
However when a fellow young feminist expressed her astonishment about the role of the veiled women in the revolution and that there broke many taboos socially and religiously , I was offended because she had a very orientalist view of feminism, that veil is a constraint on the agency not only the sensuality and sexuality . I was also offended when I was doing an interview with international journalist and she asked me if I was veiled or not because I am an Islamic feminist.
As I felt offended I felt is about time to talk about veil, although it is a very old topic, we can debate whether it is religious obligation or socially and culturally obligated custom.
I can talk on my own experience I was veiled when I was 15 by my own free well, then I was introduced to the literature of the Islamic feminism in my mid twenties and I started believing that the veil is not religious obligation and that belief was strengthened when I meet my mentor Prof Amina Wadud who practice in her life wearing and unwearing the veil according to the situation, so she accept that it was stated in Quran and Sunna but they are not an obligation we will be accountable in front of Allah.i think it is so naive to think that a women is lacking agency only for wearing veil or she is liberated only for unwearing it.
I am still wearing my veil, it might look awkward because I lost the valid justification of wearing it which is the religious and I can fight, if I want to overcome the social obligation but I feel really that I am prevented from doing or being whatever I want and add to this that I knew my womanhood with a veil on my head.
sometimes i hate it , sometimes i feel i am claiming my rights to choose what i want with it , but in everyday i wish i would not be classified by an inch of clothes

update
there is a reply from my fellow young feminist i mentioned Maha el Aswad on this link

Misr Hora....... Mubarak Bara (Egypt is free....Mubarak out )

2011-02-12T05:09:00.000-08:00

Yesterday 11 of February I left Tahrir at 4 pm, after seeing the phenomenal Nubian demonstration which brought tears to my eyes.

I was with my friend Yasmine and she was discussing with the taxi driver that the revolution might continue for 2 more weeks, I was terrified and I thought that the Jasmine revolution stayed for more tan 29 days.

I went to the internet café, started blogging for a while and then the formal TV announced that there is a address for the nation for the presidency headquarters, which was surrounded by protesters.

And the address came; Omar Suliman announced that Mubarak resigned from his position as a president of

Egypt

The address was too short, I was waiting for a continuation, but it never came.

I was stunned, I thought I will cry or I will laugh or run to the street I stay as I am , started getting calls from friends abroad, I was dieing to call my Egyptian friends to make sure that it is not a maneuver , that as all the Egyptian nation I do not trust this regime.

But my fear was wrong and the pharaoh left his throne.

I do not know Egypt without him, I was born in 1982, he was in power in 1981, I know my childhood and adolescence when his photo in my school classes and in the faculty auditoriums, he was the only face of

Egypt

, he is equated to the whole nation not as its representative.

I will know a new

Egypt

free from racism, sexism, classism and tyranny, I will see a country where the young capacities are appreciated, I will live in a country respecting the individualism of its citizens regardless the differences in age, ideology, class, sex, race, ethnicity and sex orientation

I am proud to say that my generation and I am in the late twenties wrote history, we change the path of history in Egypt and this will effect the Middle East and the world

Finally my beloved

Egypt

stay blessed, be safe and enjoy being free you did not experience this feeling since decades

a fight for a bathroom

2011-02-11T06:18:00.000-08:00

Do women have to fight all the time to gain their rights, while men get everything for granted ?
i felt this feeling today 11 of February .
i drank alot of water, so i needed a bathroom, i searched in Tahrir square with no luck, then i thought that the resturants of the square might be used for theor bathrooms.
i found one, it was super busy, it is all men, getting ready for Gom'a prayers .
when i entered the resturant, they all shouted , there is no place fpr women, i did not engage a dialogue, i stood up silenet, may be a wise man can talk with me and that what happened a young man came to me , saying this place is only for men i asked him do you know any other place for women, he said i guess no.
i told him so i will use this bathroom, you know how many women are there in the square and we should use this facility .
he agreed with me easily and he told the other men that a women needs the bathroom and they should get out of it , i used the bathroom and i thanked him
what if i did not find that guy? could i resist all those men??
i really do not know

Chanting in Nubian

2011-02-11T05:56:00.000-08:00

i have to say that the 25 of January revolution is phenomenal in all senses, but today was my happiest moment.
there was Nubian demonstration in Tahrir square , chanting in Nubian "Dafi.... Dafi ...Woh Mubark" which is Mubarak leave . i felt very proud, that the Nubian people who have been away exculded and alientated, are caliming their citizenship, we are not caliming cultural rights or economics rights , we are fighting to prove that we are enjoying full Egyptian citizenship , however the demonstration was women free !!!!!
they are rebelling against a system who denied their rights and neglected their cause
this demonstration brought tears to my eyes and i felt very proud to belong to such people .
Dafi.. Dafi... Woh Mubarak

Egyptian women and the Revolution

2011-02-09T06:42:00.000-08:00

I was never a fan of the political participation projects, and I was convinced that it deal with the symptoms not will the illness , and that we need cultural shift to change the ratioo of the women participation in politics

The revolution of the 25 of January striked me hard for many reasons , it showed that if the women felt they are related to or they belong to the country, I am proud to say that The Egyptian women are playing an extra ordinary role in the revolution , they are fighting for private and public rights, they are claiming their rights as equal citizens in this country.

When I was in Tahrir, I saw young and old women, veiled women and non veiled women, and political oriented women and non political women.

I saw them side to side to the men, they did not listen to the traditional calls that Tahrir is not a place for women .

I saw the Egyptian women doing untraditional roles in organising , stargising. Spreading the information and leading the revolution. They were in everywhere writing new line of the herstory of women.

I was even astonished that the Muslim Brotherhood with there covering ultra religious veil are in Tahrir staying outside their houses in the cold nights protesting, I hope this will ne a turning point in the MB way of approaching women rights issues

I am happy that I belong to the Egyptian feminsit movement, I believed for long time that women are perservers of the traditions, now I believe that they are radical enough to smash any rule

to be continued in better moment

Between Mubarak and Khamenei

2011-02-09T03:21:00.001-08:00

I was in rage when I heard the speech of the supreme guide of Islamic revolution in Iran Khaminei , when he said that the revolutions in Tunisia and Egypt are Islamic revolutions inspired by the Iranian example .

I can not believe that a killer like Khaminei dare to say that Mubarak is a killer , they are both criminals and butchers , Khaminei approved the massacres of the Iranian people after the rigged elections in 2009 and Mubarak is systematically killing his people in various ways , the last time was in 2 of February in Tahrir square, when the NDP camels and horses chased the peaceful protesters .

I want to tell the so called supereme guide, Egypt is a civil country and our revolution is civil popular revolution, even if there some faces of Islamists, we are calling for reform and to form a civil society where everyone can express his /her point of view .

Egypt will never be lead by fundamentalists, we will resist this till the last breath we have, and I am saying it loud , that a fundamentalist system is never better than tyrant system, they both suffocate their people and violate their rights .
Egypt is looking forward for a civil system where everybody is equal and nobody can claim superiority

to be continued in a better time

Muslim Brotherhood and Secularism

2011-02-09T03:20:00.000-08:00

If you walked by Tahrir square you can easily know the places of Muslim Brotherhood, the women are in big covering veils. Yes their women are the significant sign, there many women in the square veiled and unveiled but the women of Muslim Brotherhood are just in one group praying behind the leaders and distributing the food.

I really hate fundamentalists; I had mixed feeling about the MB, I hate how they deal with their women, I hate the discourse of their women and how they happily accept the patriarchal norms of the group, they are following their enemy only for the agency they gain.

Also I hated how the west the MB to terrify everyone from coming Islamic revolution in Egypt, I think the situation is completely differently , Egypt is a country where we are fighting to change article two of the constitution , which stipulates that the Sharia is the primary source of the laws. there is huge rejection for the Islamisation of the state.

the game regulations are to respect the human rights and to accept the civil nature of society .

As an Islamic feminist, I disagree with this , I believe in a secular state, though not the Turkish state , in this state everyone express his /her beliefs .

I am a student of Dr Abdullahi el Naieem , and his believing secularism

me and my family ...... fighting the patrirach

2011-02-09T03:13:00.000-08:00

The revolution is not only in Tahrir it is in every Egyptian house , it is the revolution of fighting the patrirch as Hind said. In this revolution the women fought for their private and public life and this is the core of our feminist struggle as Mozn said.

I know many stories where women fought against their families to participate in the revolution , they were threat to be cut off financially or even that they will curse them and loss their blessings .

I will tell my story

I am the eldest daughter of a family of two girls and a boy, dad passed away in 1999, mum is is the main provider of the family, she is an example of dedication and hard work. However she is too patrirchal, she is not happy with my choices in work as a women rights researcher and she tried for several times to direct me to banking profession like her, I passes the test of the bank but I did not want to live with stupid numbers .

Add to this that mama ia diabetic and with very poor sight and she using this fact to force me to obey her.

In this revolution she was happy that I was a afraid and I did not want to participate , till I decided to change my behavior.

I wake up up early on 1 of February, it was the funeral of my aunt husband and all the extended family is gathered in the lobby of the building, I just walked between the crowd and told mama I am leaving, my relatives were worried that I will join the protest, they started nagging with her when I left, poor mama she was always trying to make sure that she raised good women and men, but sadly I do not fit in her standards or the extended family standards

She was calling me yelling and shouting and I was really stressed to I stopped replying back Khalto my aunt from mum side was way quieter I was was communicating with her and she conveyed my message to mama . and she threatened me that i will not be allowed to enter our house

My story is a very ordinary story , thousands of Egyptian girls had something in common with it

Day three The great escape

2011-02-03T21:38:00.000-08:00

The 3 of February marks an important development in the Egyptian revolution which is the arrest of the Human Rights activist , the military police broke through Hisham Mubrak law center and the Egyptian center of economic and social rights , and there were thugs down the building and they attacked the arrested activists and the thugs told the residents of the streets that they the activist are agents of Iran and Hizboallah to create public rage against those activists and to create potential danger for anyone who come to ask about them.

today early in the morning we decided to see the Tahrir square after the massacre. I was astonished to find these numbers , the protesters did not leave their places even after the killings of yesterday, the chants were loud and I felt that even if we died all in this square we wrote a line in the Egyptian history that will never be forgotten or erased .

By the afternoon we were tired and we needed food and rest, so we started searching for a safe place and it took around three hours walking through Down Town area .

Then we found this place where I am now and it took a nap after three days of sleep deprive and started blogging

Day 2 The bloody day

2011-02-03T11:23:00.001-08:00

After the second address of the nation by Mubark, we declared that will not accept these lame excuses of being in authority till his term ends, rage was in the air , we will topple Mubarak down, this is the only motive

The National Democratic party and his government launched support demonstrations, to show that the peaceful protesters are not representatives of the Egyptian nation . it roamed all the streets of Down Town and they attacked Dr Mohamed el Baradi in a very nasty way.

It was a quiet day in the beginning , then it turned into hell, the NDP thugs started eradicating the protesters by using knifes , daggers and sticks , the injuries were fatal , the protesters fought for their life and they defended their liberated land of Tahrir square .

I was in away working on translating some the information, I was terrified , I did not watch TV to avoid seeing the injuries

The protesters were very organized , they started a crisis hospital, the doctors were trying to help the injured with very limited resources, it was another angle where you can see the precious essence of the Egyptian nation .

Then came the role of the protesters in securing the supplies to the injured people , sometimes they were allowed sometimes they were not .

In this day, I was very cold blooded , I was updating the names of the injured and martyrs in peace without falling victim for sadness or anger , and the main reason of that was having the best group of friends ever, and all the team working with e, who decided that we are all related and connected and we will pull any one before he fall

101 protesting

2011-02-03T10:15:00.000-08:00

Day one

After the crisis of explosion of the church in Alexandria , there was something in the air, there are many pressures to change the eternal statuesque.

An event was created by the adim of we are all Khalid Said page on Facebook, calling people to attend the fridy of anger on the the day of national celebration of the police on 25 of January.

I saw the event, but I thought it will be only the political activists place, but the reality proved the opposite it was unexampled day in the Egyptian history where hundred of thousands allover the country protested against Mubarak regime.

I was home, with my fear eating me alive and i think I have to admit that I never attended a protest , not or any political reason, but the fear was the only reason

I even did not join the front of defending Egyptian protesters , that my only experience in it was stressful .

So I decided that I will enjoy my comfortable home and just help in spreading the word, but everyday I was thinking that I will regret it and this historical moment will by pass me.

I was struggling in the middle of fear and refusal of missing the moment. Everyday I postponed I said tomorrow I will go.

Until I reached a moment that I thought it is critical, I went out of home secretly at 8 am while family was sleeping and I went to Hisham Mubarak law center , then to Tahrir square

It was Tuesday 1 of February, it was phenomenal , some reports said the protesters were million, I was cracking from the inside , the crowd , the chants and the huge signs .

I was very self conscious , I found it too hard to unite with the masses .

One example when the prayer time came , I did not pray, because I was afraid that the prayers was lead by the Muslim brotherhood , which was proved that the prayers were not political and felt also annoyed by the chants of some seculars calling to stop the prayers because it is Islamisation of the revolution . then in a better moment I realized that this is beauty of this revolution that everyone can express his \her opinion without judging others or preventing them

So this is day one ---- 101 protesting

About Dancing

2010-10-23T17:14:00.000-07:00

Tonight was the Gala party of the AFF, we went to a very nice restaurant with a pool and a garden and it was lovely, the food, the music and the best element was the company .

The Senegalese dancing is phenomenal, I was really inspired and I decided to write about dancing, yesterday I was arguing with my Egyptian friends in the AFF, that the Egyptian dancing is for seduction and not just for having fun . and I still think it is seductive, it is always focused on women and how to show the beauty of her body and always men or older and more powerful women are the audience , I hate also that the attention is focused only on one person, the dancer and it is not community dancing or group dancing like the Nubian dancing , where all the community, males and females dance collectively, so the attention is not focused on one person.

I hate being under the lights, I hate the feeling that people are looking at me, I know that I am suffering from low self esteem problem in addition to huge body issues , that’s why I do not like dancing in public, although I do know how to dance , like many other young Egyptian women, but the attention bothers me .

I really liked the dancing in the AFF, the women are just powerful, celebrating themselves, their beauty and enjoying their pride and self esteem, and creating with their smiles and colorful outfits a very beautiful photo.

From Dakar ... with love

2010-10-22T03:43:00.000-07:00

I am passing a difficult phase of my life, where I question everything, especially the labels I am carrying and my multiple identity, I hate being in a box and can not be out of it, I hate when people do not bother to explore me and prejudge me. Sometimes I ask myself why I am labeled with certain affiliations , do I choose all the relations I enter in, why are people assuming ideas about me.

These are the questions that come again and again to my mind in the first day of the 3rd African feminist forum, AFF is gathering women from all over the continent . we are four from Egypt and very few from North Africa.

In this AFF I felt the power of connections and the importance of sharing knowledge and building capacities, however although all the positive vibes and the good points I am seeing in the AFF, I was sorry for the weak participation from the Arabs or the North African region, although I felt cherish by the people I already know before the AFF and others know I just know many showed a very welcoming attitude

What stroked me is the North African and how they are exerting effort to assert their African identity, in Egypt the population defined itself as Arabs and Muslims and the African identity is only just shown in the Nubian minority or when we engage African in sports and cultural activities.

Seriously I can be African, Muslim, North African, Egyptian and before all of this is I am Nubian, and I am happy with that and my labels are not in conflict with each other.

I am so happy in Dakar, I feel the peace and solidarity and I will carry all the positive vibes back with me to Beloved Cairo .

Memories of a very ordinary day

2010-10-15T07:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was one of the good days in my life, although some difficulties took place.

I will start with telling you a cute story, I was having my morning tea in café downtown with Mozn, my shoes were dusty like all of Cairenes who are surrounded by desert. So there was the man who polishes the shoes and I asked him to polish my shoes and this is not ordinary at all, a man will never polish women's shoes and women do not do this, I did not think of it, I just did it, Mozn was surprised and she is not easily superised

then we started very early in a work meeting with Mozn and a resource person about one of our researches, and we spent good time arguing about the patriarchal society and its system of women oppression, I have to admit that it is hard to talk to start such dialogue with a conservative man that see women in their roles and not as individuals.

Then we had a great day organizing the office and enjoying the team spirit, we held an event and it went really good

The bad things were the news of the arrest of the Gambian women rights defenders Isatou Touray and Amie Bojang-Sissoho , although it was really sad to hear such news abut I enjoyed the solidarity of our network, Women Live Under Muslim Laws. Tens of emails were exchanged between all the countries of the African continent to share love and support.

This is the main events that happened in my day, Is not it a great day?

On Mental Illness in Egypt

2010-10-08T16:34:00.000-07:00

I was invited to attend a raising awareness event " Biking Depression Away" by my ex coworker and friend Dr Fahmy Bahget, fahmy is a Psychiatrist and he is doing great work , like participating in training refugees to be sico – social workers, he is part of the ministry of health initiative to enhance the human rights status of the mentally disabled persons and he is involved in an association of the rights of the mentally and psychological disabled persons.

Fahmy invited me to the event, I over slept and I am too fat to ride a bike, so I decided to write about the status of mentally and psychologically disabled persons.

In a nut shell, they are invisible, they are socially stigmatized, they die slowly because of lack of adequate and accessible services, I remember my family member who was bipolar and he was in denial and he refused to take his medication and he committed suicide in a low mode episode, I blamed my family which negated that we are suffering from mental illness, I blamed myself that I never noticed or made any action , I blamed him that he stayed silent and died alone in pain and I blame the society and the government for being too inhuman to mentally ill persons

I lost a family member and many are detained in bad conditions facilities and they are denied their rights as human beings , I wish one day the mentally and psychologically ill persons will not be called crazy and they get the needed help, may that day come to save many innocent souls

Nazra For Feminist Studies : when work place is a dream

2010-10-06T15:36:00.000-07:00

Writing about my dreams which came true is not easy, I want to talk about our Nazra for feminist studies, it strated with Mozn Hassan- our executive director- attempted to claim her place in the Egyptian feminist movement, then we knew each other in 2002, and since then we are trying to negate the fallacy that a secular feminist never work with Islamic feminist and vise versa .

We were tried from years of being neglected and not appreciated or even being invisible as young feminists , not belonging to the leftist and pan Arab feminist movement.

Nazra started to be a reality in 2006 , when Mozn and I decided to start lobbying to create a legal platform for young women and men to discuss gender issues and promote gender equality in Egypt . in 2007 we started the long process to create Non governmental organization.

Nazra is aiming to end the age of invisibility of the young feminists in Egypt and produce and disseminate knowledge and artistic products that promote gender equality in Egypt .

Our office, the small save cave is full on young women and men trying to fight patriarchy and to enhance women status in Egypt, the team is composed from scholars, activists and film makers.

I am very passionate that we are in action, we are implementing more than 5 projects this year, with a team of four full timers and five part timers, we are trying to build a safe place to articulate the interests of young people of Egypt regarding women issues.

Nazra for feminist studies is not an office or a team, it is a spirit and a safe cave

Follow Nazra for Feminist Studies on Twitter @nazraegypt account

Politics of ethincity and color

2010-10-01T16:23:00.000-07:00

In my trip in the USA, I was overwhelmed by the politics of ethnicity and identity politics , I feel very sensitive to such issue as a person of color belonging to ethnic minority . I noticed that in some places the services workers are predominately non White Caucasians, they were either African Americans or Latinos or Asians and that differs from place to another, that gave impression that still some ethnicities have better societal status and that true, I just saw the simplest manifestation of this phenomena.

Add to that the ethnic factor is shaping the dynamics or relations and imposing challenges of persons of color in various realms, I remember a female judge saying that she was from the first patch of female judges in Mississippi and the gender and ethnicity were challenges in her career life. Also Ashley Jackson, youth queer advocate told me that life is difficult for LGBT, but way more difficult for LGBT person of color.

The ethnicity politics did not have only negative aspect, it has a bright side which is the solidarity of between the persons of each ethnicity, I felt the very special attention and care from the African American with me, that I am an African dissident person , I felt a strong link with their ongoing struggle for the African Americans to claim their civil rights and that sense of belonging was limited to the African American struggle, it went further, I did not feel happy and keen to take photos of Martin Luther King only also I was delighted to find some good photos of the Great Nelson Mandela . I just felt that I belong to the Pan African Nation and that we are struggling for equality and justice and that is not limited to certain country m however it unite all the Africans all over the world. i felt although the context may differ, but the Nubian cause is deemed to be an African cause against centuries of discrimination.

Sorry I could not upload my photos , the connection is failing me

Viva Africa

Meeting new sisters

2010-09-30T17:52:00.000-07:00

In this trip we are a delegation of from eight countries, 14 women and two men.

Usually I do not show friendly attitude in the beginning of such event, I rather stay alone observing who is nice , and who is not . so I was away from the group , then I started getting to know people I believe in the Arabic wisdom saying that souls are soldiers of God, they might get a long or they rebel .

I get along almost with everyone, I was lucky that the team is really sweet and not fake. Although we came from different professional back grounds and the majority is not really working on women rights issues but rather in corporate law , to be honest that irritates me in the beginning, I was wondering why they brought them and what is the added value to their participation , but by time they showed their deep adherence to the principles of promotion of women rights.

I would love to share with you a bit about my favorite women, with the four of them, I just felt very easy to talk about my life and its small details, I felt the warmth that melt the ice between us.

I will start with Miss discreet, she did not want to say where she is from or even stating her initials, and I respect that, she belongs to an extremely conservative society which depends primarily on oil . Miss discreet works as a legal consultant in the oil industry, she has a lot of stories to tell, starting with being brought up in a family that celebrates its daughters, where she was able to learn in prestigious educational institutions aboard, Miss discreet is fighting daily to assert her identity in a society suppress women, on daily basis she is conforming and bargaining with her society for many things one of them her appearance, she is not veiled and she have a firm belief that Hijab is not religious obligation , however she is conforming with her very modest plain formal outfits with the social norms, in addition to that she is a wife and mum of two and she is struggling with her multi tasked life , Miss discreet is very determined and goal oriented , I loved her high sense of ethics and integrity , she does not compromise with her ethical beliefs. She is" happily" married but her struggle to reclaim her individual identity in the marriage institution is remarkable

Another great human portray is J from Saudi Arabia, she is just a free spirit , she resists all forms of suppression and she is just against all the social prescribed constraints , J is living in a society where individual is subject to a very rigid religious system and this system is failing women, J is from the first group of women lawyers in Saudi, she is practicing all the principles of feminism as if it is part of her daily life style, with every word that get out of her mouth I affirm my belief that humans are powerful than any cruel system of suppression. Although she might seem like a person who is living a double life inside or outside Saudi , I never questioned her integrity, every compromise she is doing was a patriarchal bargain that empowers her .

My third favorite women is N , she is Palestinian living in Israel, I feel she is in a permanent struggle to claim her identity as an Arab citizen in Israel, she get along well on the professional side, because we are only social science researchers in the group , the rest are lawyers, she is in a multi side battle, with the Israeli government that discriminates against her and her own patriarchal community were women are negated their rights.

My forth favorite woman K is Palestinian living in West Bank, she is just a very peaceful soul, she has ability to absorb the negative energy and transform it to positive energy , she is living is hard situations, besides the situation in Palestine, personally she is working in a semi governmental Human Right instrument, where everything is subject to politics game , she was courageous enough to get out of the miserable system and seek her individualism , K is always hopeful, she believes that tomorrow is a better day, and that was quite interesting to a skeptical gloomy person like me .

This is a small note about new sisters I met in my trip , and it does not mean that the rest are not great creatures, i just picked a sample of women who just affirmed my belief in the universality of women struggle and the great impact of women sisterhood .

Again on LGBT rights

2010-09-30T00:07:00.000-07:00

I will continue on my last post, the journey of discovering the world : LGBT rights. I just want to share with you why I decided to talk about such issue, as I stated before my dear friend N and reading Bareed Masta3jil , but the immediate reason was the meeting with LGBT rights advocate in Jackson, Mississpi .

I noticed that my visit program does not have any scheduled meeting with LGBT advocates, I do not know , but I am a skeptical person, I thought that they US department of State and the contractors thought that we are good Arab and Muslims who do not want to see culturally insensitive topics like LGBT rights, so I asked a very good soul we met, Jed Oppenheim to fix us a meeting with LGBT advocate .

We met Ashley Jackson from the Mississippi safe schools coalition , she talked about her work in ensuring safe places for LGBT persons in schools, she told as many sad stories of persons been bullied for been LGBT or even if people think they are.

The stories were just about small tiny basic rights like attending the prom with your partner, being able to dress whatever they want and the end of stories like committing suicide was just horrible and I could stop myself from writing a supporting post. I found similarities between the situation of LGBT persons in the south of the US in the very conservative states and the situation in the Middle East and North Africa.

In addition to that , Ashley shared with us very interesting ideas like the struggle of LGBT persons to assert their identities as believers belonging to various faiths, I was always inspired by persons that we just think they do not belong to our strict dogma , but they have a flexible and inclusive perception of their faiths, I shared with them some progressive Islamic ideas about LGBT and I still can remember the reaction of my very liberal Saudi friend , when she just spoke in Arabic in my face saying " are you really speaking of homosexuality in Islam?"

Yes I spoke about homosexuality and Islam , although they might sound oxymoron, but there are individuals in the billions of Muslims who thing that we can have whatever sexual orientation and whatever gender identity and still be deemed a pious Muslim.

Allah will never punish you for your fate , you do not shape your destiny

On the journey of world discovering :LGBT rights

2010-09-27T22:30:00.000-07:00

I was always waiting to talk about my taboos, the issues that really had hard times to decide what I think about it and one of this issues is the LGBT rights, or the rights of the sexual minorities . I will tell you some of my stories with LGBT issues in this post.

I never thought of it before April 2008, in the meeting of raising fund for the feminist movement in the Middle East and North Africa. There was my first encounter with LGBT advocates, my good friend N was very outspoken and she articulated her interests as LGBT advocate and her talks showed the intersection between the sexual orientation, gender identity and age . I remember that I never approached her and I did not know how to deal with her , what to say and what not to say. She just broke many of the fundamental ideas I had, she offered me a complete new image which is contradicting with my so called Islamic vision, I thought I have simple idea about Homosexuality and I considered it a disease as my source of knowledge Islam online said. My dear N stood in front of the icons of the Arab feminist movement claiming that the liberty of a woman will be gained by liberating her vagina, N advocated for freedom of all women not only women belonging to the sexual minorities.

Then many bells rang in my mind, I started reading progressive interpretations of Islam and started question my deep rooted ideas, but what really make me feel completely different is reading Bareed Mast3jel , the stories of queer women in Lebanon, when they shared their fears, anxieties and small moments of joy through this book, I felt that we share more than I think and what differentiate us is only human made labels that will never be static and should not be taken for granted. I just felt the pain and misery they face for no good reason other than claiming their rights to be who they are.

I know that I will never be a vocal advocate of LGBT rights, i will be a supporter to this cause and I will always support any person right to claim whatever identity they want .

Thanks N for showing me another dimension of the human diversity

Questioning my identity

2010-09-26T23:00:00.000-07:00

I was brought up in a Nubian family, living in the internal displacement destination in the Egyptian capital Cairo, in a family house. I am educated in Egyptian civil schools.

When I was young, I used to sing Nubian songs in all our social gatherings, I never understood Nubian Fadika language, I was just repeating the lyrics, then I was subject to Arab Islamic oriented education, with emphasis on learning foreign languages .

The Egyptian education imposes a unitary vision of the Egyptian identity, glorifying the past Pharaonic history and total ignoring to the parallel civilization, the Nubian civilization and on the other hand emphasizing Egypt as a Muslim country, excluding all the other faiths in Egypt.

Frankly I was a good product of the assimilation system, I speak Arabic as my native tongue and I acknowledge only one dimensioned identity which being an Egyptian and nothing else was celebrated or noticed . my parents did not exert efforts on asserting my Nubian identity, the whole idea of being a Nubian for me was minimized in the family relations and the culture was only manifested in the art and music only.

However in my endeavor to discover myself, I came across questions about what labels we are using to identify ourselves and do we really belong to our claimed labels or not. I started questioning years of imposed knowledge and practices, I started to connect myself to my roots, by the help of some of dearest persons like Mozn and others . I am still in the process of discovering what hats I am wearing and how am i identifying myself.

The idea of this post came to me during my visit to Jackson, Mississippi , I discovered the bond between me as African Origin person and the African Americans, this visit reaffirmed my belief in the unity of the African nations and that our struggle for our rights is the same with different manifestation .

I chose the traditional Nubian dancing and I do not feel it is cheesy as I used to do .

Sex Workers

2010-09-26T00:33:00.000-07:00

Today I have been to New Orleans, I am enjoying the warmth of the south and the hospitality of the people, I was expecting to see Jazz clubs and music everywhere, however I did not find my expectations real.

Since I am clumsy enough, and I do not read maps, I have to follow my colleagues, so I ended up in the "Red light district" or the prostitution area. To be honest this is not my first time to such area, I have been a good tourist in Amsterdam, and my curiosity took me to the Red Light district. It was quite an experience to see the sex workers in bikinis dancing in show windows . that took place in May 2007. But this experience is quite easier than today experience for many reasons , first I was accompanied by colleagues from the Arab world , so I might received a harsh ethical judgment for being in such area as a veiled woman, the second reason is that I visited the Red light district in a week day at 3 pm and there were not too much actions to see there, unlike today where women almost naked where dancing in the balconies and many drunk guys flirting with them. and the last reason that we were mixed group of men and women, so that really irritated me.

I have to admit how progressive I might sound, but still I am really conservative when it comes to sex workers, I perceive it as an abuse against women. I am in denial when it comes to recognize that some women opt to be professional sex worker and they consider it a profession like any other profession, that is the echo of my feminist conscience , however I find really hard to accept sex work as a form of women sexual agency, I know I sound very traditional conservative woman, but I can not figure what is empowering in a woman offering a man a sexual services being under the pressure of need, however I think that sex work should be monitored by the state, to ensure the access of sex workers to health services .

Sex workers are one of the categories of women that trigger many questions in my mind, just wanted to share some ideas about it with you, may be later on I will have concrete ideas.

Not For Sale : Anti Human Trafficking

2010-09-22T00:40:00.000-07:00

Today we met with David Batstone , the president of Not For Sale organizationin San Francisco, the organization is working on ending the human trafficking and slavery, I liked the presentation for many reasons, the first that I related what they are doing in the organization to the ongoing efforts in Egypt to combat human trafficking, Egypt is suffering from human trafficking crimes, usually against women that they will be sold or so called married for sexual exploitation purposes. luckily the Parliament just passed the Anti Human Trafficking law in Egypt while the rapporteur of Human trafficking visit to Egypt.

However just after the visit was concluded, the Case of Senator Ahmed Yerima just appeared , the ex governor of Zemfera state and the man who applied the Sharia law in the state, was " married " to a 13 years old Egyptian girl , I was involved with my coworkers in many emails with Nigerian sisters to try to deal with this case, but sadly the governmental response in Egypt did not mount to the expectations , and also the Egyptian civil society was not sensitive to the case, or even the Egyptian media . it is note worthy to say that the persistent efforts of fellow Nigerian feminists lead to the investigation of the case by the anti trafficking agency in Nigeria and it is a ongoing case.

The second thing that I liked about Not for Sale is using the social media to make change, they are using the new technology like the Iphone applications to verify which companies have bad record regarding human trafficking and they offer these ratings by using iphone application, in addition to that they are developing a map to verify where does the human trafficking crimes happen and it is available online

Finally, they work on internal and global level and they built a powerful network that have many stakeholders, each is contributing in the most adequate way and they stay behind the curtains if that would help in accomplishing their goals.

Amina Wadud :Meeting a Mentor

2010-09-19T23:09:00.000-07:00

When I was growing up, I had hard time believing that it is possible that somebody could be my role model and I would look up to him\her.

However, now I am happy to admit that Amina Wadud is a role model and mentor for me, not just in the academic and activism level, as she is consider one of the pillars of the Islamic feminism school of thought but on the personal level, Wadud is always inspiring me.

I consider Wadud a pillar of Islamic Feminism because she contributed on the theory by writing one of the land marks which "Women in Quran" where she offers a very progressive interpretation of the first source of Islamic jurisprudence, the holy Quran. in this book Wadud analyzed b Quran from a women perspective, depending on the main fundamentals of Islam . in addition to that Wadud wrote another book "Inside Gender Jihad" where she combines between the personal and the public, she discussed many issues of the Muslim women and in the same time she shared with the readers details about her own struggle as Muslim woman.

And in practice Wadud challenged centuries of patriarchy and questioned the role of women in the traditional Islamic Fiqh by leading a Friday prayer, Wadud is the first Muslim woman claiming the right of spiritual leadership after centuries of exclusion women from this realm. She was faced by harsh critique from the whole Islamic scholars , that Sheikh Youssef el Qaradawi, the grand Sunni scholar dedicated a complete episode his show on al Jazeera TV to show how Wadud is considered a heretic and she is contradicting with the Islamic teachings, I believe that the only thing Wadud is contradicting with the unjust claims that discriminate against women in the traditional Islamic jurisprudence.

Wadud is inspiring many Muslims by her deep ideas and inspiring actions, currently she is blogging , she started blogging on various issues, starting Ramadan till the Haj time in sha Allah. Fellow her she is just a pious soul .
Wadud is my role model because she is just practicing what she claims , her life is an endeavor of a soul seeking peace and justice

A Day in Karamah

2010-09-15T20:42:00.000-07:00

When the American embassy sent me the schedule of the trip to the US, I was very excited to know that I will go to Karamah ( Muslim Women Lawyers for Human Rights).

I know Karamah since 2007, when I was writing my thesis on Islamic Feminism in Egypt, I used many of the online articles of Dr Azizah el Hibri, the founder and director of Karamah, she writes intensively on women issues in the Islamic jurisprudence and she is an icon when talking about the Islamic feminism school of thought. And I really appreciate that Karamah is offering huge amount of knowledge online for free, few do this and that help many people and inspire them as well

I have to say that, I am lucky because my heroes , whom I have been reading to are not just great inspiring women but also they are kind souls , that I always enjoyed knowing them in person as well.

Dr el Hibri introduced Karamah to us and she said that they started in 1993, in the decade on women adopted by the UN , in that time there was huge attack on the situation of women in Islam and el Hibri with others thought that Muslim women have to be heard .They established Karamah to offer alternative explanation to the issues of women in Islam and they offered legal assistance or experts opinion to the American courts . Karamah is considered to be a bridge between the Islamic jurisprudence and the American legal system.

Dr el Hibri stated a very clear point that is deemed to be the essence of Islamic feminism and it as follows" we are calling for the implementation of fundamentals of Islam, and the traditional voices want to include the patriarchal discourse which contradicts Islam".

Dr el Hibri was not the only person that inspired me in Karamah, Nevine Abdallah , a young Islamic scholar impressed me, not only by her intensive knowledge on the Islam as a religion and a legal system but also but her humbleness. Nevine is a product of the prestigious Islamic education system in Egypt (even if I do not agree with how things go in it ) , both the religious in el Azhar and the civil in Dar el Olum the house of sciences in Cairo university and she also shows the effect of the personal tuition of Islamic heritage, she is a student of Sheikh Mohemed Bakr Ismail.

May be me and Nevine did not share the same point of view in the women Imams, but I am really proud to see such woman Fiqh and maybe I so proud because she is Egyptian, she reraised the question that always irritates me, does the Islamic feminist have to be religiously educated or adequate knowledge is enough, I still did not find an answer for that question

Nevine just affirmed my belief in young women, I have to admit that young women keep my faith that a change can happen, may be because I share the same challenges with them, I feel them and they always show perseverance in their struggle even within the feminist movement.

we tackled issues related to family disputes like Mahr, custody, access to divorce and khul' , in sha allah i will write on these discussion on a post later on

in the photo, Dr Azizah el Hibri

On the history of women rights movement in the US

2010-09-13T20:32:00.000-07:00

Today the program started with boring statements about the why, how and what the program is about and how are the great leaders how participated in the program, it is note worthy to say that the late president Anwar el Sadat and the current prime minister Ahmed Nazeef participated in this program.

That was followed with a more boring session, the presenter literally read the whole program , although we have it in Arabic and in English, then that was followed by the first lecture by Daniela Koraim, director of women and law program in the American university in Washington, she gave us insights about the women rights and feminist in the US. She talked about the first wave and the suffrage movements and she elaborated on certain dilemma like the two different trends calling for equal treatment for women and other calling for special treatment for women then she continued and she discussed the current challenges facing women rights movement .

she tried to be objective and not to present the American model as the best case scenario as might claim, I did not like that they are OK with the fact that the US did not sign the Convention of Elimination of All forms of Discrimination, which the women rights bill adopted in 1979 by the United Nations and it sets the broad lines from the states to promote and protect women rights.

After I heard her lecture, I felt that the system is failing women, how come the free contract of appointment leave it in the hands of employer to allow women to get paid maternity leave or not, why although abortion is legal in the 50 states but still the states can restrict the women access to abortion and women are victims of game of politics and economic system in the US and as well in other countries

What I heard from affirmed my belief that patriarchy is universal and women struggle is a very long way to go

an end note : i hate that the feminism history is dated according to the history of American feminist movement, others were feminist too in the same time or even earlier , that's a note from an Egyptian feminist

USA trip 2010 (1)

2010-09-12T19:58:00.001-07:00

I love traveling, and I decided to blog on my travels to keep the memories and share the interesting thoughts with you

This is my first time to the US, the trip seems to be difficult since the beginning, that although I am traveling as international visitor under exchange program of the department of state, I passed through the minimum hassle of issuing a visa to the US, I still remember spending a whole working day trying to fill the online visa application, I was desperate enough to think of canceling the whole trip but I was lucky to find paid help in the last moment .

The flight was the longest flight I have been too, my last record was Malaysia, but it completely worth it, I hope I will the same in the end of my trip

Unfortunately, I reached the US on the memorial of 11 September, however the security check was normal similar to a European airport check, and that was a relief

I am now in Washington DC, and I am enjoying it, today I have been to the white house and the congress and my program will start tomorrow however today 's tour was the first encounter with the other participants in the program of women in justice, the participants are coming from different Middle Eastern countries , 3 Egyptians including me and from Algeria, Morocco, Palestine, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Syria , Qatar and Jordon , we just went through Washington together, we did not have chance to talk much but I kept just one comment in my mind that a the political well in Morocco and Egypt changed the situation however with a country like Saudi Arabia that is not the case, that comment reminded me not to judge on the things only from the surface but to acknowledge the specificity of each context.

We will visit American NGO and governmental agencies working on promoting women rights to utilize from the American experience, and I am looking forward to that with a critical eye .

To be continued

About being Black: childish approach

2010-09-06T19:57:00.000-07:00

I am not intending to write a serious blog about being black in a brown country, I might do that later on.

Today I had a very cute experience with our neighbor Loka (4 years old) , she was trying to convince me that I am black because I drink too much Pepsi and I eat chocolate and she is white, as a good child she drinks too much milk.

This is not the first time that kids inquire about my color, before I was called fahma ( coal) which is black by the niece (3 years) of my best friend, she pronounced my name fatma wrongly as fahma, but it was funny comment to compare me to the black coal. And I was stupid enough to tell my classmates this story, so fahma was one of my nicknames in Malta and still popular up till now.

Also Emma (5 years old ) the sister of my dear Nadia, asked me in a very cute way to remove my makeup and she gave me a tissue to remove my weird black makeup, and she was disappointed that we did not manage to remove it .

Honestly, I used to have huge issues with my color when I was young, and some disputes' are still there up till now and I still feel uncomfortable when somebody refers to it , however, I cannot deny that those cute inquiries about my color gave me very remarkable memories that I cherish, although I was never able to explain why I am black in a simple way to the kids, I do not agree with the typical so called religious explanation that Allah created black from black clay and white from a different , white clay.

May be I should do my best to explain the melanin thing to kids I hope they will get it, but even if failed in explaining it, still their cuteness and innocence is treasured.

On Child Marriage

2010-08-23T23:54:00.000-07:00

I am interested in the issue of Child marriage in Egypt for many reasons, first because of the huge scandal of Senator Ahmed Yerima, Nigerian Senator who " married" a 13 years old Egyptian girl and the very poor response of the Egyptian government and even the Egyptian civil society and add to that I am conducting a research with my fellow coworkers about the Child marriage in Egypt. And the last reason I dream of a day when I do not see the news of a death of 13 years old bride after the first sexual intercourse or while giving birth.

What strikes me in this issue that the rules are very clear, that according to the national laws: under age marriage is illegal and the ratified international treaties -especially the Convention of Child Rights stipulated the same principle. It is note worthy saying that according to the new child legislation the legal age of marriage is 18 years old, and that was amended in 2008 by rising the age from 16 to 18, and that happened after harsh criticism from the conservative forces in the Egyptian society.

Although the laws are clear, they are always violated, and they are violated by religious and societal claims.

Child marriage is justified that it is part of the Islamic traditions, that Prophet Mohamed Peace Be upon Him married Aisha who was 9 years old and that traditions lasted in the Egyptian society till now and the societal pretexts are either to elevate the economic burden of the high populated families by transferring the responsibility to support the young female members to their husbands and to maintain their chastity and to avoid any unwanted sexual or emotional activity and the latter societal pretext is supported by Hadith saying that whoever able to be married, should get married . And the ability here is explained as the sexual ability to be in union and this ability is earned by puberty age.

Thinking of all what is stated before and remembering my discussion on my post on the rising the legal age of marriage on my Arabic blog Taboohat, I still remember all the Hadith that were miss used and interpreted in favor of the so called early marriage and I remember how I was attacked to dare to say that this Human Rights violations does not belong to Islam, on contrary it negates the Islamic principles of protecting the person and the offspring Hifaz el Nafs w Hifaz el Nasl.

According to my humble experience I should expect to called agent of the west and I want to corapte the pure Islamic society, however I believe that my arguments are based on Islamic principles that child marriage is illegal because of its well known and proven harmful to the girls and to the whole community and even it opposes the correct interpretation of the meaning of ability Ba'ah, which is not only the sexual ability but also the financial independence. And even if the Prophet did it and that is even questioned, there are many arguments saying that Aisha was 17 when the Prophet married her. The Prophet stated that No harm principle is core principle in the Islamic jurisprudence la Darar wala Derar and child marriage is clearly a very harmful practice .

One would argue for years in this topic, that was a humble thoughts in the issue and it would be followed by further clarifications later on

Work Diaries

2010-08-06T15:17:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about my career lately, as a major change is taking place: Nazra for feminist studies is finally in action and is implementing several projects, although I have been waiting for this for long time and Nazra team went through long hard time to reach this point, but my happiness is not complete, not only because of the obstacles we are facing like the governmental bureaucratic and security constraints or the possibility of the societal backlash to any feminist activism but the reason of my incomplete happiness is very personal

I feel bad because I am losing passion; I am working with no motivation. All the things that used to inspire me seem ineffective and sometimes even do not have the same meaning it used to have. This feeling was my great fear, that I will be working not for a cause but I will be a practitioner who seeks secure employment and revenue. I do not like anything I am doing, I hate being busy with logistics and administrative or publicity tasks, in addition to that I do not have any motive to do the tasks that I love liking doing research and writing.
I know that when your endeavor is a long trip you might loss direction or loss passion, however this experience is really tiring and it raises many questions, and that is what I am feeling, and that is not only depressing but weird as well, I am not mid level career woman or well established to feeling bored or and to lack motivation, in addition to that I function in the module that I chose and participated in its creation and it is my safe zone, also there are many goals I want to achieve and ideas I want to tackle.
Currently I am just seeing the empty part of the glass, I magnified the problems and I can not see anything else. I do not need talks about the feminist cause and the difficulties we should anticipate or talks about thinking positively. I need to feel the same feeling I was feeling when we started.
I know that the fundamental difference between an activist and practitioner is the passion of the activist, and that is what I am losing
I do not have any solutions and I do not know when these feelings will end, what I know that I really want to wake up in the morning with fresh mind and cheerful spirit, ready to make a difference

Young Arab Feminist Network: a New Hope

2010-04-29T17:07:00.000-07:00

In Marrakesh 2008 was the start, the “issue” of young feminists was discussed and considered in AWID meeting. It was like a stone thrown in lake, it created many waves on ideas and further on initiatives. In this meeting the young feminists articulated their interests; they started to show the invisible struggle they are facing. It was not the patriarchal societies we are living in, or the authoritarian regimes we are living in, it was the daily endeavor they young feminists go through, to claim their right to exist and show a different feminist discourse.

Many claims can be raised to disqualify the young feminists, like they lack the needed information and experience, they are not well prepared to join the decision making process and they should be allocated according to the needs and priorities of the institutions they are working in, all these claims are gathered to hinder the progress of young feminist attempts to change the status quo of the feminist movement.
When We the young feminists realized that we can do more than preparing coffee and tea, or fixing the seniors problems with technology, we argued that we have potentials and we can change our situations, we will not be satisfied by the mid career promises nor we will play the role of communicators with the foreign donors, we thought that we need an entity that empower us, build our capacity , offer us support and aggregate us, and here was the start of the Young Arab Feminist Network.

The network is a result of months of deliberations between young feminists from all over the Arab region, they discussed all the challenges we are facing and they attempted to realize their own dreams, they sought an inclusive network that can offer a safe space to its members regardless ethnicity, class, background, ideological affiliation, sexual orientation. We aimed to create a platform where we can articulate our interests, raise our concerns and shape our own struggle strategy.

We are launching the Young Arab Feminist Network in Cairo, it is step one in the road, I know that we need perseverance and passion to continue, and our road is full of obstacles, but I am quite sure that we belief in our cause will guide us through this hard road.

From more information on the Young Arab Feminist Network check Young Arab Feminist Network.